An Open Letter To The Unexpected Best Friend Who Changed Everything

To My Unexpected Best Friend, You Changed My Life When I Least Expected It

I'm still not sure what made me take the jump and come, but I'm happy I did. It changed everything.

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From a simple phone call, I decided to spend a couple hundred dollars on a plane ticket to see someone who didn't even truly care about me. I wasn't sure what he and I would be and thought this would clear things up. It made what we were (and weren't) crystal clear. Even after coming all that way, he ghosted me instead of texting me to get together. But then I met you.

I'm still not sure what made me take the jump and come, but I'm happy I did. It changed everything.

You were there when I passed by him multiple times, and he hardly looked over at me. You were there when I felt sick and didn't want to go to an event, because he was going too. You were there when I was hurt that one of my friends would do this to me.

You complimented me, checked on me and reassured me he wasn't worth it. "You're gonna let him go, but you're gonna be OK. You are worth so much more," I remember you saying.

That stuck with me and helped me long after you said it. I no longer remember the awkward situations of that trip, but the meals together, the walks around campus, long talks, laughs and singing together. I felt at home the minute we said hello, and missed you the moment we said goodbye.

In such a short period of time, you have taught me so much. You are unlike anyone I have met or most likely ever will know. When I first met you, I knew something was special and different, but I didn't know exactly why. Now I know what I saw — you are a genuine, honest, raw and present human.

Through the good and bad times, you have stayed the same loyal friend. I know I can count on you. You don't just say you're here — you really are and you are willing to show up.

I'm so grateful you came into my life just when you did, even though I know it was the hardest year of both our lives. I had no idea how much you would mean to me after that day we met.

It was almost like we could see through each other that first day — looking past first impressions and into the heart and soul. I meet new people often and go on multiple trips a year, but this one now stands out a forever memory. It was the start of a lasting, unexpected friendship.

We started out as strangers, but before I knew it you were picking up the broken pieces that someone else left behind.

You made me feel heard, seen, cared for and loved. Little by little, you have torn down the walls I have had up for so long. With you, I knew I mattered and was supported. I no longer felt alone. You made me laugh way too loudly, smile as wide as the sky, and even tear up a few times because of how thoughtful you were. It wasn't about what you could get, but what you could give.

People need us in the most ordinary, little ways.

But we will miss out on those if we don't stay long enough. We miss out on serving. We miss out on showing up. We miss out on loving the person next to us. Saying "yes" to others is a powerful, yet understated word. Let's just keep saying 'yes' to the best things, and only continue to change if it's for the better.

Your story is needed and incredible, just like you. Remember that, even if you forget everything else I've ever said. Maybe you haven't been convinced before, but I hope now you realize I mean what I say even when others don't.

You are rare, precious, and cared for. You give hope to all those around you that darkness will not win. You are full of purpose, talent, and potential. Your eyes sparkle with light, your smile with life, and your heart glimmers like gold.

Maybe you haven't changed the world (yet), but you've changed mine.

You came when I wasn't looking and when I least expected it. I was so distracted at first that I could've missed you altogether, but God made sure I didn't.

You are and always will be a highlight in a world full of black and white.

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I'm The Girl Without A 'Friend Group'

And here's why I'm OK with it

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Little things remind me all the time.

For example, I'll be sitting in the lounge with the people on my floor, just talking about how everyone's days went. Someone will turn to someone else and ask something along the lines of, "When are we going to so-and-so's place tonight?" Sometimes it'll even be, "Are you ready to go to so-and-so's place now? Okay, we'll see you later, Taylor!"

It's little things like that, little things that remind me I don't have a "friend group." And it's been like that forever. I don't have the same people to keep me company 24 hours of the day, the same people to do absolutely everything with, and the same people to cling to like glue. I don't have a whole cast of characters to entertain me and care for me and support me. Sometimes, especially when it feels obvious to me, not having a "friend group" makes me feel like a waste of space. If I don't have more friends than I can count, what's the point in trying to make friends at all?

I can tell you that there is a point. As a matter of fact, just because I don't have a close-knit clique doesn't mean I don't have any friends. The friends I have come from all different walks of life, some are from my town back home and some are from across the country. I've known some of my friends for years, and others I've only known for a few months. It doesn't really matter where they come from, though. What matters is that the friends I have all entertain me, care for me, and support me. Just because I'm not in that "friend group" with all of them together doesn't mean that we can't be friends to each other.

Still, I hate avoiding sticking myself in a box, and I'm not afraid to seek out friendships. I've noticed that a lot of the people I see who consider themselves to be in a "friend group" don't really venture outside the pack very often. I've never had a pack to venture outside of, so I don't mind reaching out to new people whenever.

I'm not going to lie, when I hear people talking about all the fun they're going to have with their "friend group" over the weekend, part of me wishes I could be included in something like that. I do sometimes want to have the personality type that allows me to mesh perfectly into a clique. I couldn't tell you what it is about me, but there is some part of me that just happens to function better one-on-one with people.

I hated it all my life up until very recently, and that's because I've finally learned that not having a "friend group" is never going to be the same as not having friends.

SEE ALSO: To The Girls Who Float Between Friend Groups

Cover Image Credit: wordpress.com

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How To Cope With A Best Friend Breakup


Breaking up with a boyfriend is one thing, but breaking up with your best friend is a whole new level of heartbreak.

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We all know breakups can be tough, but when that breakup happens to be between you and your best friend, things reach a new level of heartbreak. I met my best friend junior year of high school after our Spanish teacher randomly assigned us to be partners; we struggled so much in that class but in the end, we truly became inseparable. When senior year rolled around we were still close as ever; people would often joke that we were sisters because we looked and acted so much alike. We would go on little dates together, go to parties together, and were always the first person we called when something "major happened."

When my best friend's boyfriend of four years cheated on her while we were spring breaking in Europe, it became my duty to make her feel better; I would randomly drop off flowers and little notes to her house, spend countless hours just listening to her cry and vent, and even stopped talking to people associated with her boyfriend so as to show my "support." All of these things were no big deal to me considering I loved this girl like a sister; whatever she needed I was there to give that to her.

Things soon took a sharp turn when we entered not only the same college but the same sorority. While I was struggling with the social aspect of FSU, my best friend soon found new best friends. When I started having major issues with my boyfriend, I would automatically text/call my best friend as she did with me, but instead of support, I got the sense that she was passive and uninterested. Our little dates and goofy inside jokes disappeared and reappeared between her and her new friends, and my comfortableness around her soon turned into insecurity.

Coming to terms with the fact that the girl I knew everything about is now basically a stranger was a hard one to overcome; I didn't want to accept the fact that my best friend decided it was time to find new ones. It's heartbreaking knowing that the special things you shared with a person are now being shared with others, and it's hard to accept the fact that you aren't wanted or needed by the one person you thought would be by your side forever.

Since school has ended I think I have accepted the fact that we're no longer what we used to be. Of course, it still stings when I see social media posts with her new, college friends, but I just have to remind myself that this is part of life and I just have to move on. I will forever cherish the memories I made with her, but it's time to acknowledge that they were made with someone in my past, not with someone in my present.

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