There are many times in my life that I needed to make a decision on how to move on or continue to hold onto things that are bringing me down. When you have to let go of a part of your life it is so difficult to process. I have come to realize that letting go of a part of your life is a lot like when someone passes away. Essentially, you have to go through the same process of grief.

1. Denial

This is when you try and hold onto what you think will pass. When it is a relationship ending, you hold onto the idea that the "Still Friends" options will be open. Denial can even represent trying to hold onto something that was so blatantly over just because you thought that there was still a chance of rekindling any romance and/or bonding that you had with the other person.

2. Anger

This one, personally, I have gone though a lot. I always decide that I am not in denial about something ending in my life so I just pass the denial step and decide to impulsively text people I used to have a romantic connection with or even try to regain friendships that are long gone; just in hopes of there being a 1-in-a-million chance of a miracle. When those texts are met with answers I don't want to hear, and my plans being avoided by the other person every single time, I would get so angry. I would try to do a good thing and then I would just get treated terribly. That's when I realized that being angry at the fact that someone has already moved on from you isn't going to help you because, in reality, I should have seen it all along.

3. Bargaining

Now, this step probably won't be done with the person that you are moving on from. My bargaining stages usually are my texting my friends for advice and say, "If I text him this _____ he has to reply, right?" Maybe even when I pray at night, I'll ask God for a sign and then when I get a sign that points to moving on, I play it off and I say that it wasn't from God because God would want this to happen. Essentially, my bargaining is more of trying to make compromises with myself in hopes that I will either get so fed up and walk away from the situation because I can't come to a conclusion, or I end up doing things that I regret. (Repeat the Denial/Anger step)

4. Depression

Oh goodness, this is the step that I really despise. Depression is when you start crying because you remember something that happened with the person and you can't tell them, or you remember the hurtful things they said during the denial phase when you look at yourself in the mirror. The depression phase, for me is what usually takes the longest to get over. In this phase, you have to deal with the crash of emotions that you have had: hopefulness, sadness, anger, stress, and even just being tired of thinking about it. You feel this crash and that's when you have to deal with the truth that has been staring you in the face for so long: It's time to move on.

5. Acceptance

Now, this stage comes at it's own pace and honestly it's kind of annoying how slow acceptance comes along sometimes. I know that I have hung onto things for days, and other things I've hung onto for years. The one thing that I know for sure is that acceptance never comes unless you completely let yourself feel all the emotions that you need to. Sometimes we, as humans, have a tendency to just push away our feelings. We mask being hurt by anger and over arrogance about moving on. There are so many emotions that you have to be able to process before you can finally accept that someone's chapter in your life has come to an end. When I had to wait a year or more to accept that someone is no longer in my life, I still had this small flame of hope that one day there would be a rekindling of what we had. Sometimes we think it's better for us to let our hearts down easy with hope than to break them more by cutting off cold-turkey. Other times, it's hope that is the culprit for heartbreak. To come to acceptance, is to completely understand that this person is not coming back into your life. It's like locking the door melting, not throwing away, the key because you don't want to have any way to get back into the room.

The 5 stages of grief is a process that so many people go through. Now, processing the ending of a relationship is a lot different than processing a death but the concept stays the same. When moving on, there are so many emotions that go along with it. I know that I get so emotionally attached that it's hard for me to realize that sometimes things are just not logical to continue chasing after. I hope that understanding your own process of grieving will help you with moving on, I know it helped me.