I understand you

I understand every glance you give

Every sparkle in your eyes

I see the qivers in your lip

to the smiles you hide

I love the shape of your hips as you sway them side to side

and the way how you seem to float as you walk by

But I also understand the saddness that you hold with in that glance

and the loss of the sparkle in you eyes

I see that qiver covered in tears

to the smiles that have disappeared

I don’t love that I feel as though I have lost you

and how you now seem to just be drifting through your life

I miss how you use to be okay with the silence

and the late night talks

I wish you were my little princess again not this soulless wretch

You use to be the girl everyone adored

Even though you were mediocre at most things you loved them all

and I loved everything you tried

I was you biggest fan even though I know all of your biggest flaws

I loved you for every scare and mistake you tried to fix

I loved you for the blemishes on your face that only you saw

to the cure of your gut that you wanted to lose

I loved you no matter what

Yet this love wasn’t enough for you even though yours was for me

I loved you even though I knew I shouldn’t

I was never good enough for you and I knew that from the start

You hated all of the rolls on my body

and the blotches on my face

You didn’t understand my fear of never being loved

or my want to do things on my own

You could not see the pain in my eyes every time you struck me

to the cicatrix you left behind

You never loved me you just tolerated me so you wouldn’t be alone

You didn’t just hate my body you were disgusted by it

Yet I loved being used by you

I wanted to get hurt

I knew I would

It was inevitable to happen

I was there through out all of your relationships

and knew better than to be with you

You were never kind to me

because you knew I was the only person that would stay

You knew no matter what you did or said I couldn’t

and in the end you were the one who left me

I still question what I did wrong every night when I think of you

You are ingrained in my brain

Everything you did and everything you have said to me

I can’t get your insults out of my head

They swarm around me

I still can hear you saying no one will ever love me

as I relive you walking away from me

Every glass that shatters and door that shut reminds me of you

You are present in all of my dreams

but also my nightmares

Every sunset turns into a thunderstorm when you are near

But some how no matter how much you hurt me I will always love you