While suffering from another attack of procrastination this week, I found myself on a Google Search spiral that ended me here. And for once, I think my procrastinating was more worthwhile than any of the work I should have been doing.
That’s because Science of People is a website designed with the purpose of helping you to “be more awesome.” If you have an hour to spare clicking around, I highly suggest it. But if not, I put together three things, I swear, that changed my life. (Skeptics, I dare you to try it out.)
1. The words why and how are like mini magic wands.
Using questions that start with “why” and “how” gives you the ability to excite people. The science-y reason behind this is dopamine, a chemical in the brain whose job is to make you feel good. Humans get bored easily, so anything that’s unexpected or different sends dopamine out into our brains and makes us happy. Asking people questions that go beyond the ordinary “how are you?”-type fits in that unexpected category.
I tried this out for the first time walking around at a presentation. I’d find someone who didn’t have anyone at their table and ask what their project was. They’d tell me, sort of glazy-eyed, repeating the same things they’d told every person before me. Then I’d ask them how they’d become interested in the project and their faces would light up. Not only did I learn a lot more about them as people, but also had the joy of realizing both the presenter and I were smiling as I left the table.
Additionally--being interested in other people makes you seem much more likable and interesting too.
2. The way you stand affects how you feel about yourself.
You know how your mom was always yelling at you to pull your shoulders back? Well, it’s time to admit that she was right (again). Not only does doing this give you better posture and make you appear more powerful to others, but it also makes you feel more powerful yourself.
Low-power poses are when you try to take up as little space as possible. For example, when you’re alone in a room with someone you don’t know well and you are uncomfortable, you take out your phone and hunch over it.
High power poses are when you take up as much space as possible. They’re great for when you’re alone in your room but can seem like a little too much when you’re around other people. So if you need a confidence boost, keep your chin up, shoulders back and arm comfortably by your side.
Science of People has lots of body language tips in its archives but this is the first one I had an opportunity to try. I tried a power stance at my choir concert and I found that I was less nervous about singing on stage than I usually am. I fidgeted a lot less and enjoyed myself a lot more.
3. Asking someone else for a favor makes you more likable.
I know, I know. It seems like backward logic. The idea is so counterintuitive that it even has a name--the Franklin effect--but it’s a real phenomenon.
It’s based on the idea of perception. Appearing to be vulnerable makes you seem more human and make others relate to you more easily. Asking someone for help or to do something for you makes you more relatable.
We can’t go around asking for favors all the time. So, what I actually took away from this was the idea of vulnerability. Recently, I was in an argument with a friend. There're three possible resolutions to that situation. You can either both agree to forget it, even though it will still bother you sometimes, you can insist that the other person is wrong, or you can choose the scary option and take some of the blame for yourself. Admitting you could be wrong is scary because it makes you vulnerable. But it’s also the quickest resolution to a misunderstanding because the other person will usually relate to that and share the blame with you.
Going through the same motions and conversations every day can be boring and lonely. What’s really amazing about all of this is that it makes those everyday interactions so much more worthwhile. Learning to understand other people and how you affect them practically gives you a superpower. And if finding out you have a superpower isn’t the best result procrastination has ever turned out, I don’t know what is.
