I've wanted to write about anxiety for a while. The sucky part is, I often can't express how I'm directly feeling, like others who battle with anxiety probably know what I'm talking about.

One night I had it so bad - it was 3 a.m. and I had to be up early the next morning. Since I wasn't sleeping, I went to the notes on my phone and started typing how I could best describe how I was feeling to another person...

"It's like watching a little girl's balloon pop right in front of your eyes. There's nothing you can do it about it. Inevitably, balloons are going to pop, and most of the time you don't know when unless you purposely poke it. They're full one minute and popped the next. You can't see it coming. It's a difficult thing because the person sitting next to me in class or the person seeing me walk on campus doesn't know my heart is beating two times as fast, that my hands are starting to sweat, or that my smile might be forced at that moment."

I would say anxiety is a lot like a balloon. In my case, it's an absolute rush of anxiousness, all at once, no warning.

Sometimes, it makes me want to hurl. Other times, it keeps me from getting into my car to go to class.

I wish I could tell you why it happens when it does, but I can't. I know my triggers, but I can't tell you when those triggers will set me off. It's not that I can't handle myself in those situations (because most of the time I can), but it's not a fun experience.

I was talking to a friend the other day and she said, "I don't get it because I don't deal with it." It came out very sympathetic, and she genuinely wanted to understand.

I explained the best I could, kind of like I did above. Above all, I just want to say - If you don't understand, it's okay. Believe it's real, that's the best thing you can do for me.