As a person who has recently been diagnosed with severe anxiety, I have come to realize that there are certain things that people who don't have anxiety do not understand. Some people may think that having anxiety just means you get nervous more than normal, but it's way beyond that. Severe anxiety is being nervous about normal tasks, not just special tasks like taking tests or going for a job interview. It means that the littlest thing can set someone off, whether it be a small argument between two people, or a crowded shopping mall. Severe anxiety is something that I, and many other people, suffer every day. Sometimes it's hard to explain why we get anxiety over these things. In fact, sometimes there is no reason. I therefore thought it would be important to discuss some things that people without severe anxiety don't understand. That way they can at least begin to know what goes on in the minds of people who do.
Firstly, someone with severe anxiety can't help that their mind often jumps to the worst conclusions. Even if the situation is out of our hands, we still worry. Why? Because somehow, someway, we convince ourselves that something that can go wrong, or there is something we could have done better. It's the constant over-analyzation of things that causes us to worry about "silly" situations. It's not like we want to be thinking and worrying about something constantly, we just do. Some people say "just let it go" or "worry about it later", but that's easier said than done. Someone who has severe anxiety can't just pack away a worry into a filing cabinet in the back of their mind. It's so much more difficult than that, which is why people need to understand that we often can't help worrying about things that, to others, would seem trivial.
Not only that, but often times you can't even tell that someone is expressing symptoms of severe anxiety. There are times where you can tell, like if a person is fidgety or starts breathing too quickly, but often the symptoms are internal. A nervous stomach, a tight feeling in the chest, a severe headache from overthinking and so on. You can never assume that someone isn't having an anxious moment, so if you say or do something that suddenly triggers the anxiety more, the key is to just let the person breathe. Telling someone to "calm down" definitely isn't going to help. Get that person to a place with fresh air and let them take a couple moments to cool off. In fact, that person will often be aware of what's happening to them and take the initiative to step out on their own. As someone who has experienced this first-hand, it is often helpful to take a step back from everything that is going on and take a breather. So even if someone you know with anxiety looks like their fine, it's always good to be aware that anything can happen at any time, and you need to be accepting of that.
Lastly, people with severe anxiety, or even just daily anxiety, do not want to be treated like glass; like they can fracture and crack easily. Don't walk on eggshells around us, just be yourself. If our anxiety is coming from something you're doing, we'll let you know or we'll step out to take a breather. Otherwise, just be yourself. We don't want to be looked at like we're a problem that needs to be solved. This problem is just another daily thing we have to deal with, and thus does not have a single solution. Understanding that we want to have a normal day just as much as you do is important. If you understand that, then you're good to go.
In the end it is important to remember these things on a daily basis, especially if you are someone who has not experienced anxiety at higher levels that other people have. If you have a friend or family member with anxiety, keep this information in the back of your mind, and you'll have no problem with being familiar about what that person is going through even if you are not going through it yourself. Even around strangers, don't be surprised if someone says they want to step outside to take a breather; anxiety is more common than you think. Again, it is a part of thousands of people's daily lives. Becoming familiar with it is just one step closer to understanding what those people go through every day.
