There are few things in this life I am apologetic for. And having high standards is not one of them. Love is one of the strangest and most powerful experiences an individual can have, and it makes all of the difference in a person’s existence. It’s a natural human desire to want to love and to be loved. And when we find a person whose weirdness meshes perfectly with our own, we choose to share our lives with them. That person who has the honor of living through the highs and lows of your life shouldn’t just be tolerated or dulling. That person should push, inspire and light your world on fire. (Couldn’t resist the rhyme.)
That being said, we shouldn’t waste time in relationships that don’t do those things for us. I recently read an article about finding a partner, and why our generation needs to get better at doing so. Once upon a time, ages ago, marriages were based on fiscal reasoning. Who had the most cattle? What would marrying in to this family line provide the other family? How much land is to be gained? Then came the time when we picked partners solely based off of love, passion and romance. So what if you don’t have similar views on how to deal with your emotions, you’re in love and that’s all you need!! And now- we need to better understand that we need to search harder for a partner, we need to set the bar higher, to never settle and to find someone whose life doesn’t collide with ours, whose presence makes you sway and whose craziness is the kind that can be matched with yours. I’m the first to admit that I am afraid of long-term commitment, and that is a result of my fear of monotony and losing myself to a relationship. BUT, that is why I refuse to settle or have anything but the highest of ideals and expectations in a lifelong partner.
I don’t mean higher your standards in the sense that you don’t give anyone a chance unless they approach you with a handful of roses, uttering sweet nothings to you through their perfect pout on their impeccable model-worthy face. I mean, give everyone a chance and get to know people as well as you can. People will constantly surprise you if you give them the chance, and hopefully one of those people will do so in the best way possible and make you light up with passion and love. If someone can make you feel like you want to be a better human being and a stronger partner, then they are worth testing the waters with.
Dating the wrong people is really dating the right people. As with everything, you can only truly learn what makes you mad with happiness or crazy with anger until you’ve felt it. And once you begin to learn what you really want in another person, and from yourself, you can be certain to be closer to finding the person whose life will weave its way in and out of your own.
We should never sell ourselves short and close our hearts and minds because we are content. Often women and men get reputations for being picky when it comes to their life partners. But screw that. Don’t fret over people thinking you’re a bitch or an asshole. You only live once (YOLO is actually a decent expression) and if you’re going to invite another human being to spend that lifetime with you, then you should make sure that you truly want them there. And NEVER feel badly about putting your happiness first.
