Surely if you are living on the same planet I am, you have heard the blunder that, “women are too emotional to be president.”
Yet, often times this appears to be the only reasoning offered by opponents of a female presidency. Here is a conclusive guide for responses to combat these comments without upping misogyny with misandry:
1. Tell them how you really feel about this statement. If you are a female, sob. Completely break down crying and curl up in the fetal position while drinking Crystal Light and cradling a child. This will show them that women can “have it all”: politics, emotions, liquid juice diets, and children. Top off this quadfecta with watching a romantic comedy.
2. Throw a medium sized object (not too heavy, preferably a half full water bottle) at their head. Make sure to not “hit like a girl,” and aim for the base of their head: if you hear a hollow sound, you know the rest.
3. Show them the percentage of females graduating from colleges and universities and in the workforce. Then show them that women are actually more qualified than men in certain careers and any percentages that apply. If calculating any percentages make sure to consult the family patriarch and/or calculator--women’s math skills haven’t evolved since the abacus days.
4. If you like politics and other studies you can’t get a career in (if you are a woman) show them a copy of the Preamble of the Declaration of Independence and the “all men are created equal” clause. Then, with a magnifying glass (or zoom in on your computer) show them the hidden provision that this phrase even applies to bumbling imbeciles and women.
5. Arrange your tears in the shape of the American Flag or letters “USA.”
6. Repeat step 2 hoping it will adjust brain synapses and then turn the tables: Why does nobody ask if men are too emotional to be presidents?
7. Give them the definition of emotional: “arousing or characterized by intense feeling,” then ask, “by emotional, you mean human?” If they try to refute this statement, then you know the answer: women are human and the person you are talking to is a cyborg.
