So you've been to orientation and you think you know everything you need to know to tackle your first year at UCSB right? Ya... no sorry, you still have so much more to learn so let me help you all out.

Your first year at UCSB is going to be the best, worst, craziest, wildest adventure you've ever had! So here's a few things you might want to know in order to save your self time, money, and maybe even a trip to the hospital.

1) You do not have to wear a full outfit to class. This is not high school or a fashion runway. Wear something comfortable because you can't flaunt your new outfit while sitting in a chair with 500 other students.

2) You are probably going to change your major. Don't worry, its fairly easy to switch and it happens to most people at UCSB. So you don't have to have your life plans figured out just yet.

3) Don't sit on the curb in IV. Seriously. Don't.

4) Don't harass the IV foot patrol. They are actually pretty cool and only arrest the hazardous and annoying drunk people. In essence, they take the worst of the worst out.

5) I thought this would be a "duh" rule but given the amount of MIPs last year... You can't carry open alcohol containers in the streets of IV. Its still a public place, not your personal partying safe haven. 

6) Guys, you may already know this but for those who don't -- Getting into parties is going to be way harder for you than it is for girls. Sorry.

7) Ya the burning couches in IV are cool but if you get too close and stay for too long, you can be arrested for arson because you are at the "scene of the crime." Take a quick picture for Instagram or snapchat and then get the hell out of there.

8) There are cliffs on the back side of the dp ocean front houses. IF YOU FALL, YOU MIGHT DIE. Let's not raise the death toll because drunk you wanted to take a titanic picture on the edge of a balcony.

9) It's probably not the best idea to drink any drink that some random person hands you. You don't know what they put in there and you could definitely be drugged.

10) Walk of shame tip: If you don't know how to get from a house in IV to the dorms without people seeing you in last night's clothes and makeup, call an Uber! They aren't that expensive and you can order a car right to the house you are at. Problem solved.

11) Try not to walk alone in IV at night. Sexual assaults happen a lot in IV, most of them just aren't reported. Call your friends, a CSO, that one guy that you swear is your soul mate -- just don't go alone.

12) Not every little embarrassing moment you have is the end of the world. Honestly, it probably won't matter two weeks from now so don't freak out. Save your worries for the times when you actually fuck up your life for good.

13) If you get CASE, it's okay. I got it fall quarter Freshman year so you can't do much worse than that. Also the $120 charge on your BARC account shows up as "student health" not "mom I've fucked up." So you have time to think of a story to tell your parents.

14) Try to be friends with your RA so maybe they will go easier on you when you accidentally run into them drunk off your ass or you let them into your alcohol filled room. Don't get mad at them for doing their job -- remember they were once freshman just like you so they know what its like and they know all your tricks.

15) You don't have to drink every shot that someone offers you. Just fake handle pulls or say no. No one is going to judge you for not wanting to die of alcohol poisoning and props to you for knowing your limit unlike half of IV.

16) Talk with your roommate and agree on leaving your door unlocked. It's a lot easier when you go out on a friday night and are too drunk to remember a key.

17) Ways to not get water balloons thrown at you the first week (a.k.a. how to not look like a freshman): Don't walk in massive groups of like 15 people. Don't wear sweatshirts while doing the drunken stroll down DP.Try not to make eye contact with people on the streets or in the balconies. If you aren't drunk, try to act drunk because being sober is a dead give away that you are a freshman. Most of the people throwing water balloons are just throwing them at random people so just try to blend in.

18) Get to know the people in your dorm and other freshman! It will make your college experience so much more fun if you are surrounded by people you actually like rather than people you just sort of deal with.

19) Rush rush rush! It's one of the most fun experiences in college. You'll make instant friends and you'll always have a place where you belong. We also party and have the most fun, so why wouldn't you want to join?! At least try rush and then you can drop anytime you want before you are initiated. Even if you think its not for you, try it! There's always a house that will be perfect for you.

20) Go on ratemyprofessor.com before you sign up for a class. It will tell you all about the class, the teacher, and what other students at UCSB thought about the class. It can save you a lot of time instead of going through a class that you hate.

21) Take risks! College is the place where you can do stupid and ridiculous things but still get away with it. Don't be that person that is too afraid to go outside of their comfort zone. Do something crazy (maybe even illegal) but make sure its worth the punishment.

22) You'll probably get sick more than usual your first year at UCSB. I got strep throat at least three times my freshman year after going about ten years without getting sick once. Student health is really easy and quick for when you need medication for those days when you feel like death.

23) Leave some time for just yourself. Being surrounded by thousands of people nonstop can get really annoying and cause problems. Make sure you are able to just chill once in a while so you don't kill the next person that breaths on you.

24) If you leave your clothes in the washer for longer than they are supposed to be, people WILL take them out (and possibly steal them) to put their own clothes in.

25) You don't have to be best friends with your roommate, but you do have to live with them for nine months. Try to stay friends and keep the fighting at a minimum.

26) Get your books before class starts! Even if that means sucking it up and buying the expensive ones from the bookstore, do it. If you don't have books for the first few weeks, you will fall so far behind and its incredibly hard to catch back up on the fast paced quarter system. (Reminder: you only have about nine weeks to pass the class, not a whole semester like high school)

27) They probably told you this at orientation, but stop inviting people to IV for major partying holidays! We don't need anymore pointless riots or bad publicity! You can't let people stay in your dorms during Halloween, Deltopia, etc. anyways. (unless you sneak them in through the side doors) Let's try to keep our little paradise clean and to ourselves.

28) Running out of dining common swipes? Bring plastic bags and containers into dlg and take all the food you can hold! Seriously, you're paying $12 for food anyways so why not make the most of it? Dlg cookies are the shit so look up the menus beforehand and plan your robberies accordingly. (just don't get caught by the staff because they get all pissy when you try to steal food that they are going to throw away anyways...)

29) Don't be surprised if your friends or bf/gf say "wow... you've changed" after coming home for winter break. The truth is that you are going to change a lot in college but its usually for the best. In the words of the notorious Kevin G, "Don't let the haters stop you from doin' your thang."

30) Freshman year is one of the best years at UCSB! You can fuck up all the time and use the excuse "sorry, I'm only a freshman." So be sure to do crazy, ridiculous, and awesome shit and earn your title as a gaucho! After all, we do go to one of the best schools in the world.