I somehow went two straight weeks writing articles people kind of care about, so I am hoping I can make it three in a row. So, for those who don't know know what the Tier System is, it's pretty much a pointless way to rank fraternities and sororities based on things really no one cares about. However, this is where I bring up a new point: what if you put UCF restaurants in the tier system? I already know what you're thinking: Chris, this sounds genius, and I totally agree with you. However, it's articles like this that are probably the reason why I have been single since 1995 (sorry Mom). But anyway, let's see how your favorite restaurants are ranked in the tier system! (Keep in mind, not every restaurant is on this list. I only picked basic ones.)
TOP TIER
1. Publix
Publix reigns supreme when it comes to food near UCF. Pub subs, chicken tenders, sushi, hot & spicy wings, Chinese food, you name it, they probably have it, and it tastes pretty good. I don't need to talk about the grocery part of Publix, because it's pretty obvious they have everything you need. Nothing is better than Publix on this list, but there are other alternatives.
2. Chick-Fil-A
Chick-Fil-A is that one restaurant that everyone never seems to hate. It's always a go-to when you feel the need to eat some chicken, or if you can never make up on where to go to eat, this place always has something for you. Sure, maybe their religious values might not match up to yours, but in the food department, they've been pretty solid. Plus, partial proceeds at Chick-Fil-A come in bunches all thanks to UCF Greek Life.
3. Chipotle
Ahh, chipotle. A basic white girl's dream, and lines that are arguably sometimes longer than Disney World's Space Mountain. Even with the E coli scare just a couple months back, college students crave Chipotle more than adderall during Finals Week. Chipotle will always be on top, but they'll never be number one. Why? People have it so much that they may in fact get tired of Chipotle. This is definitely not a bad thing though, because no one can deny that Chipotle is many times considered "The Plug."
4. McDonald's
Mcdonald's: either you absolutely love it, you absolutely hate it, or you absolutely tolerate it. The fact that the closest McDonald's location is 24 hours and is across the street from campus just makes it so convenient that it's hard to avoid. It's cheap, it's always open, you know what to order every time, and your drunk self just loves this place. Sure, you hate yourself after you eat it, but deep down, you know that you'll always have a soft spot for McDonald's.
5. Steak N Shake
My first college memory was at the Steak N Shake down University Blvd and I was 100 percent (not) sober. Something about 24 hour restaurants and walking distance from bars makes us love places like this. Steak N Shake is cheap, the food is probably the most American things you'll ever see, and the milkshakes are pretty hard to beat. That four meals under 4 dollars thing, like come on now, whoever came up with that better gotten a promotion to a job at corporate office with a secretary that he will have an affair with. Again, our drunk selves just love Steak N Shake for some odd reason, but it's absolutely terrible for you, but then again who cares? But shoutout to the waiters that have the graveyard shift, dealing with drunk college students sounds pretty terrible and I wouldn't deal with it.
Middle Tier
6. Bento
Bento is the one Asian restaurant that everyone always seems to agree with. Why? Just look at that menu, there's so much stuff on there that you'll always find a go-to. Partial proceeds are abundance here, and sorority girls love this place. What's the one downfall of Bento? Price could be lower, much lower, but then again it's so good. That one dollar off for the Facebook check-in is pretty worth it too, because you may run into people that might be there already.
7. Blaze Pizza
There's always one place you never hear bad things about that you probably would have never gone to, and that honor goes to Blaze Pizza. I really don't think this place gets enough credit, because the pizza here is actually pretty delicious. In my opinion, it's perfectly priced for what you're getting, it's a great atmosphere for college students, and portions are just right. Why isn't as hyped up as its supposed to, I have no clue, but this place gets a two-thumbs up from the author.
8. Lazy Moon
So you maybe wondering, why the hell is Lazy Moon ranked below Blaze Pizza? Easy. Yes, Lazy Moon may have the large slices that you can put whatever you want on them, they do have all the beer on tap, and they have other things you can order. But lets be honest here, after a while, Lazy Moon Pizza just loses its hype. Yes, its still good pizza, but eating it constantly, you're probably going to want more variety in your life. This is where places like Mellow Mushroom would come in, but then again, would you really drive that far to get it? Probably not.
9. Panda Express
*Cues in Panda by Desiigner and Future* Yes, the all-powerful Panda Express is on this list. The Americanized Chinese chain quick service restaurant is, without a doubt, delicious. The downsides? It's kinda far from campus, and they could mix up the choices they have food wise, but then again, they don't need to that. Maybe when they make it on UCF's campus in the upcoming years is when they can really move themselves up the Tiers, but for now, they are sitting pretty right in the middle.
10. Jimmy John's
I think I can say for everyone that there is really nothing exciting about Jimmy John's. However, the multiple locations, the long hours, the simple menu, and the "freaky fast" delivery keeps it from being at the bottom. The 1 dollar subs deal was pretty worth it, and Jimmy John's is surprisingly one of the healthiest options here, which is kind of sad to think about, but still, you're not really losing out on much if you choose Jimmy John's.
Lower-Middle Tier
11. Taco Bell
Yes, Taco Bell has a soft spot in my heart, but why is it so low? Although Taco Bell is indeed delicious, there's really not a location "close" to campus, and this place has caused more stomach aches than UCF's football season. Even with all those things considered, college students will forever love Taco Bell just because its Taco Bell.
12. Moe's Southwest Grill
If someone ever tells you that Moe's is better than Chipotle, you do have the right to tell them to shut up. The only time Moe's is every better than Chipotle is on Mondays, because no one can beat a deal like that for 6 ish bucks. This is also one of the few places with a Greek Life discount, which proves that it pays to be Greek, literally. Other than that, Moe's is just another typical quick service restaurant, with a really catchy greeting.
13. Jersey Mike's
The Jersey Mike's location near UCF is a place I have a soft spot for. Like every Jersey Mike's, the food isn't great, the prices could be lower, but there is one thing that keeps this location running, and that's the people that work there. Out of all the places I go to, the people that work there really try to remember your name and ask how your day was, it honestly makes you feel like home unlike some others on this list. That, the Greek Challenge, and the student meal discount keeps this place competitive amongst others around the area.
14. Qdoba Mexican Grill
If anyone asks me what Qdoba is, I just tell them it's like the off cousin of Moe's. The on-campus location is very convenient, you get what you pay for (most of the time), and it's exactly what you expect from a restaurant like this. Why is it so low? Compared to Chipotle and Moe's, think of Qdoba has the third Independent candidate running for President of the United States. Sure, he's there, but is he really gonna win? Probably not.
15. Wendy's
Out of the Big Fast Food Three of Wendy's, Burger King, and Mcdonald's, Wendy's is the best when it comes to health wise. Why is it so far down the list? Wendy's is often forgotten when it comes to food options because it's in a very odd location on University Blvd. If it was closer to campus, than maybe more people would be going to it, because that four for four deal is low-key pretty nice.
Bottom Tier
16. Burger King
Burger King is like the Steve Urkel of UCF Restaurants. They try so hard to impress you, but you both know that just ain't gonna happen. Besides the chicken fries, what can Burger King offer that's not the five for four meal? Who knows, but Burger King is often tossed to the side due to a lot of better options out there.
17. Wawa Gas Station Food
Wawa gas station food is actually not the worst thing you'll ever have. The subs are pretty good, the bowls are edible, but just something about getting food out of a semi-nice gas station has you second-guessing yourself. Drunk or sober, this place is not the worst choice you'll make, but you'll often questioning why you're getting food from here when there are so many other options.
18. Del Taco
I hate to say it, but this place is an absolute disappointment. Del Taco is the really terrible budget clone of Taco Bell. I can't name a single person whose ate here sober, because it's that bad. Are you one of the few people that enjoy Del Taco? I am going to assume you are either really cheap, or you are drunk 18 hours hour a day, because seriously, how can you like this place?!
19. Subway
Subway has been around forever, and honestly it's one of those restaurants you can live the rest of your life without. So many other options besides Subway, and with the whole Jared Fogel thing, I really stopped going there. Honestly, everyone should have stopped going there when the 5 dollar foot-longs stopped being a thing, because that's when Subway was at its peak.
20. 63 South/Knightros UCF Dining Halls
Ah the tragedy that is UCF Dining. Yes, the food is medicore, yes, the food is expensive, but hell, you can have as much as you want, when you want, all thanks to the wonderful dining plans UCF offers. Just kidding, give yourself another 10 more years of life, and skip the dining plan, and find something else worth your money.
