Working in a coffee shop is, in many ways, a really awesome experience - especially if you love coffee and get free coffee for working there. Caffeine heaven. Of course, that said, simultaneously the best and worst thing about working at a coffee shop is the variety of people you get to meet.
1. The "Don't smile at me until I've had my morning coffee" crowd.
You better take their money, give them their coffee, and not even think about smiling. Heaven forbid conversation. It's too early for that nonsense. THEY WILL FIGHT YOU.
2. The "I'm so happy you're smiling even though it's only six o'clock in the morning!" crowd.
They're a morning person; you've fooled them into thinking you're a morning person; you've done your job well. They felt so alone in a world of miserable sleepy human beings until you arrived: their ray of coffee-serving sunshine. Their joy is infectious, and you feel like a genuine morning person for the next hour.
3. The "regular".
They're pretty sure you should have their order memorized by now, and grow progressively more offended as you apologizing for your ignorance. They give an unclear explanation of the drink they want, expecting to refresh your memory. Your memory is not refreshed. Due to confusion, you give them a drink differing from the one in their imagination. No one is happy.
4. Your real regulars.
You know their drink by heart and ring it up before they even say it. In fact, you prepared it while they were walking in and have it waiting for them. Before they head off, you exchange a few jokes, and you know they'll be back around three o'clock for their next round.
5. The tour bus.
Ah, the tour bus. Pure terror as the people flood through the doors. This is what you and your coworkers get nightmares about. Bonus terror points if it's a senior tour bus, and you only have one pot of decaf ready in the entire store.
6. The teenagers.
Someone in their pack must have just gotten their license. They're all trying to act like they belong, but they're not really sure how to behave without adult supervision. They compensate by being loud. Thankfully, they're pretty polite because they know they'll be you in a couple years.
7. The accents.
British, Russian, French - the second someone starts speaking with an accent, every employee in the store gravitates slowly toward the register. What are they doing here? What's their story? What will they think of your American coffee? It's all very exciting.
8. Puppies!
If your coffee shop has a drive-thru, you get to meet people's dogs (and also that one lady's cat). Sometimes you even get to pet them! All it takes is one good puppy encounter to clear the day's list of frustrations.
9. That guy sent by his office to pick up coffee for his coworkers.
He's a little afraid he won't be able to carry it all. You ask him for a clarification and he looks panicky. He doesn't know what these people want. He's the youngest in his office, and when they gave him their orders, he brought them to you. Please don't ask him anything else.
10. The construction workers.
These guys are on a schedule. They come in every four hours like clockwork, and they drink more coffee than you thought possible.
11. The guy who's very insecure about his coffee preferences.
"The latte's for my girlfriend." No it's not. You and I both know it's for you, buddy. But I have great news for you: lattes are gender-neutral.
12. The guy who's way too proud of his coffee preferences.
He only drinks his coffee black. Did you hear him? He's only twenty, and he has a full beard, and he wants his coffee black as the night.
13. That lovely older couple.
They come in every afternoon for their decaf coffee, and you carry it to their table for them because one of them has a walker. They think you're a lovely young person, and you think they're the reason there's hope for humanity.
