Let's Talk About Suicide, For Tyler Hilinski's Sake

Let's Talk About Suicide, For Tyler Hilinski's Sake

I, for one, am a basket case a lot of the time, and it’s OK if you are too.

Ah yes, the dreaded conversation about mental health.

Many of you have probably heard of Tyler Hilinski, a WSU football player and student who took his own life on January 16th, 2018.

So many people struggle with mental health — my friends, my family, my peers, myself. For something that so many people go through, it absolutely breaks my heart when people feel their only option is to end their life.

It’s times like these you see Twitter and Facebook flooded with messages about loving people and checking in on your friends. While these are great messages, they seem to fizzle out after a while.

It’s time we keep the conversation going and love the people around us even harder.

Depression, anxiety and other mental disorders are like cancer to the mind and soul. Cancer is a serious condition, so why do we so often brush mental health under the rug or just try to suck it up when it can be just as fatal?

If you are someone who is struggling with your mental health, please know you’re not alone and you aren’t crazy. You are allowed to not be OK, and you are allowed to put yourself first. If getting up and getting dressed is all you can do today, it’s OK. The best you can do is something you should be proud of because you are here.

Don’t talk yourself out of reaching out. “People have it worse than me,” is not an excuse to not get help. Your problems matter, no matter how big or small.

If you think someone you know is considering suicide or might be having a hard time, ask the hard questions. “Are you thinking about suicide?” “Are you hurting yourself?” “Do you need help?” Just ask them. It is so much easier to have this conversation with someone before you no longer have the opportunity.

Something I’ve been working on is saying how I really feel while I’m feeling it. No more “I’m good, you?” b.s. If I had the greatest day, I’ll tell you all about it. If I’m angry, I’ll be sure to let you know too.

Something my mom said to me during one of my I’m-so-pissed-off-and-sad phone calls that stuck with me was “You are allowed to let yourself feel, even if you seem like a basket case because you are human.”

I, for one, am a basket case a lot of the time, and it’s OK if you are too.

Cover Image Credit: Instagram |

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If You Want To Die Tonight, Please Read This

I want you to live. More importantly, I want you to want to live.


If you or someone you know is experiencing suicidal thoughts, call the National Suicide Prevention Hotline — 1-800-273-8255





The thoughts are deafening, screaming at you that the world would be better off without you and that no one would care if you were gone.

So, you find yourself on the Internet, searching for ways to die in a relatively painless way that will leave the least amount of mess for others. You find yourself thinking about the bridge a half mile from your house or the assortment of pills lining the walls of your medicine cabinet. You remember that your roommates will not be home from class for a few hours; that you are totally alone.

And then, in your Internet search for ways to finally escape the pain, you happen upon this article.

Yes, this one right here.

This one telling you to stay.

And, well, you find yourself still reading along because a piece of you, even if it is the smallest piece of your existence, wants a reason to live.

* * *

I am not sure what is causing you pain, and maybe you honestly are not sure either. All you know is that you have this pain — this never-ending pain — and it's become enough.

Society tells us that we need to tattoo a smile onto our faces and pretend that everything is OK even when we are aching on the inside. If you take one thing away from this article, I want you to remember this — it is OK not to be OK. It is OK if you are not OK today or tomorrow or next week or a year from now. However, one day, it will be a little better and there will be a little bit of sunshine peeking out through the clouds.

I want you to live. More importantly, I want you to want to live.

And, sometimes, wanting to live is about just noticing the little things that make you happy and remembering them.

Like the way the sun looks glistening off of the lake by your house at 5:47 p.m. on a Thursday evening.

Or the way the scent of your coffee creeps up your nostrils while it cools to a drinkable temperature.

Or the fact that a new episode of your family's favorite show is coming on this Thursday.

Or the way your Lush bath bomb colors your water into beautiful shades of blue and green and yellow and pink.

Or the dinner your Mom cooked for tonight to share with you, your Dad, and your sister.

* * *

Life may not turn out how you plan, but perhaps that is not a bad thing.

God has a plan for you.

Why the plan involves you feeling this way, I do not know, but I do know that God did not bring you into this world to suffer.

You deserve help.

You deserve love.

You deserve to be supported.

Even if you feel alone, I promise you are never alone.

You can text "Hello" to 741-741 at any hour of the day and someone will be there to support you.

* * *

So, tonight while you want to die, please just think about the last time you smiled so hard that your face physically hurt or laughed until you almost peed. Just think about a time that you felt something besides what you are feeling now and hold onto it.

Hold onto it, lie down, and go to sleep.

And wake up tomorrow knowing that you are a survivor.

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