Throughout my life, people have alway found a way to make me feel like I'm the size of a tic-tac. I'm not your typical girl, so that makes me stand out and become an easy target. I'm six feet, two inches tall, I have curly, afro-like hair, I have freckles, and I'm athletic and bright on most days. Most importantly, I'm a nice and caring person who was raised by my parents to treat others the way I would like to be treated.
So why then would people who are obviously more attractive, more athletic, smarter, more successful, etc. than me take time out of their lives to put me down? This question has been constantly on my mind, and to this day I don't think I can honestly answer it. Thanks to recent events, I can at least come to one slight conclusion in my quest for an answer:
I MATTER.
Two words. That's it, all I need, for now at least.
When you're having a bad day, typically one turns to friends for some comfort and compassion. When you're having a good day, one runs into a room full of friends to celebrate. What happens, then, when these friends manage to turn both of these situations into a roast fest?
You can do everything in your power to make people like you and not want to put you down. Help do their laundry, do their homework, buy them comfort food after a tough day, you name it. I guess there is such a thing as "too nice." People see your vulnerability and strong desire to fit in and take advantage of that. So how are you supposed to respond? Call them out and confront them? Someone who is "too nice" doesn't have the courage to do something like that. Confrontation makes that person uncomfortable and risks losing friends. So you swallow your feelings and emotions and take the new blows of the day.
But now, after feeling this way, there is one thing that can get me through most of it. Yes, those two, ever-important words: I MATTER. Anyone who has ever been in this position can relate, and the understanding of these words can change your whole outlook on life.
I matter in the sense that I don't need to go out of my way just to make friends. There are people out there who like you for who you are and accept you for all of your flaws and imperfections. Nobody's perfect (just ask Hannah Montana). The most important people in your life understand you and respect you for all that you do and all that you are, even past the good, the bad and the ugly.
I matter, not just because mom and dad told me I do. Our parents are our biggest cheerleaders in life. They support us and love us unconditionally, but sometimes we need to gain a little confidence or positive self-image without having to hear it from someone else.
I matter because I accept myself for who I am, what I bring to the table, and who I choose to surround myself with every day. I am no longer going to allow what others say about me have a strong impact on the way I see myself because...
I MATTER.
