A month or so ago I began my very first internship at a local non-profit. Through the process of an application, and then a quite stressful group interview, feeling that I got lucky in being one of the handful of candidates picked to be a marketing intern for a relatively important nonprofit, I couldn’t have been more excited to begin my first steps towards building my resume.

And for the first few weeks, it felt awesome.

Immediately I went to work: editing, writing, overseeing projects, working with fellow interns on future media campaigns. I even got assigned to working on a new website for one of the associated nonprofits there, as well as edit videos to promote another nonprofit’s latest campaign.

The experience, so far, has honestly been nothing but gratifying.

For once, I was working within something that mattered: working to promote and spread the word about non-profits to the community and potential supporters, whether it’s more volunteers, or just more organizations willing to grant promotional or financial support.

Finally, I thought, my summer break won’t be wasted on doing nothing as usual. I’ll finally earn some money, I’ll grow my resume, I’ll make something of myself...

Then, the days turned into a week.

Then the week changed to months.

And then, things felt like how it was when I had classes a few months prior to starting my new job; awfully routine and mentally dull.

Now, don’t get me wrong, I still appreciate what I’m tasked to do at my internship. It gave me insight into so many things about marketing and communications that I would have never learned about otherwise (pitching ideas about a social media campaign seemed a lot simpler on paper!), as well as gave me the opportunity to work within the field for the first time.

It’s not that I find the work itself too boring or undo-able. But, rather, the routine surrounding the work I’m currently doing.

I currently work on a nine to five basis, usually four days a week. While I do look forward to developing websites and editing promotional videos, I always dread the night before every Monday, despite how the work is rarely grueling or unsatisfying.

At the end of every working day, I go home, expecting that I’d do something productive… only to find myself browsing YouTube for five hours straight.

Even worse is how I fare on the weekends, where instead of spending five hours, it’s an entire day dedicated to surfing the web for anything interesting.

To think that all of that time spent on doing trivial antics, I could’ve actually done something productive, like writing a short story, or going outside for a walk.

But nope.

With the additional everyday chores and daily time with family, unless I’m out with friends or work the part-time at the mall on occasion, it’s nothing but YouTube binging and Reddit surfing for the entire day.

For me, the routine has taken much of the energy away from the other hobbies I once enjoyed, as I currently dedicate much of my time now to my new job.

It feels odd, to say the least, and I can’t help but wonder if I’m the only one that feels this way. Maybe there are countless others who are in the same situation as I am and go straight to doing trivial, mindless activities during their spare time.

Or maybe it really is just me, and it’s just my proneness to being dull and lazy.

Surely I have yet to get used to the grind of the nine to five life and get into the habit of doing the things I tell myself I’m going to do, rather than just take an “hour” break that transforms to an evening of nothingness.

But, as of today, it’s almost baffling to me as to how much the daily routine just sucks away the energy to do at least something productive, to the point where I’ve stopped doing the hobbies I once enjoyed.

But is it really just me? Or does anyone else feel the same?