Whenever someone finds out I'm a twin, they say, "Aww I wish I were a twin." Well, of course. Having a twin is the best.

My twin sister is Anna-Marie, but she goes by Anna, like the Disney princess from Frozen. As kids, Anna and I made up elaborate games. We created an entire world for our beloved stuffed animals. Together, we filled notebook after notebook with strewn-together stories. We wore matching clothes until first grade, where I always wore pink and she always wore green. We were so tight that one time my little brother, Taylor, asked, “Why don’t I have a twin?” For a while, I was never interested in becoming a separate entity from my sister because we were part of each other. At school, we ate lunch together with the same group of friends. But Anna was always determined to show the world that we were also individuals.

That’s the problem with twins. We’re always “the twins” or “the girls.” People lump us together even though we aren’t identical, despite how many people ask, “Are you sure?” Yes, we’re sure. We’ve been sure for 21 years. Despite the fact that we’re the same height and have similar mannerisms, we have different hair, eyes, noses, voices, and face shapes. We have our own personalities, likes and dislikes. Though we have the same birthday and the same first and last initials, we have our own names. My poor parents receive constant calls from our insurance asking, “Excuse me, but are you sure you have two daughters with the same initials and the same birthday?” Even some people we’ve known for years are unsure which name matches which face.

We didn’t want to be those twins, the ones who go to the same college, room together, and never branch out. So we decided to attend different colleges. For me, entering college solo felt weird. In the past, whenever I started a new school, I was never alone, because I had Anna. It felt weird without my other half. Fortunately, I’ve had great roommates during my college experience and found a supportive group of friends. Now, I’m comfortable both as solo-Alexis and as one half of "Anna and Alexis."

I’ve learned that individuality is important. However, I don't think I'll ever get used to celebrating my birthday alone, like I've had to the past couple of years. It’s usually our birthday. We eat cake together and open gifts that end up being the same but in a different color. As kids, we (mostly Anna) woke up at 6:29 so that Anna could brag about being a “year” older than I was for one slow-as-molasses minute. When I studied abroad in England, without Anna, and was lucky enough to be in Paris for my birthday, I still missed her. But being apart from her has helped me establish myself as an individual.

I’ve also learned that our relationship will always be the same, and it will always be as important as ever. After months of separation, we still pick up where we left off. Without planning it, we show up wearing the same shorts. We recommend books, read each other’s writing, and listen to our shared favorite music. We go on twin dates to eat sushi and shop for clothes. Despite our twin struggles, I'm lucky to have a forever best friend who makes twinning the best.