As a part-time retail associate, I love working with the public. Socializing is a big perk to any type of job. It's nice to get to know customers who frequent your place of work, and it's nice to be in-tune to the events going on in your town. However, there are some things that people say and do that leave me questioning why retail was my go-to job.
1. Damp Money
Why is this dollar bill moist? Where did it come from? Your bra? Your shoe? I may never know, but taking it from you has me reaching for the hand sanitizer after.
2. Garbage
I mean, really? Yes, thank you for leaving your messy DQ Blizzard cup sitting on a shelf or your container from the Wal-Mart deli filled with half-eaten chicken. It's even better when someone takes snack items we sell and eats them, just to leave the evidence blatantly laying on the ground somewhere.
3. Messy Clothes
I applaud the customers who attempt to hang clothes back up after looking at them. However, the ones who throw them over the rack arms or just leave them laying on the ground really take the cake. At least put them back on the hanger, man. Does your house look like this?
4. Body Odors
I am trapped in a 2x2 foot square. I cannot escape. Please do not pass gas. I am a prisoner.
5. Personal Shoppers
One thing that really cracks me up is how people sometimes get confused and think I'm a search engine on Amazon. Someone once called and asked me to personally go around the store and pick out items for me to take to the register because they were coming to the store later that evening. Doesn't that defeat the purpose of shopping?
6. Personal Babysitters
Small children in big stores frighten me. They run everywhere, they scream, and they grab everything.
7. Creepy Men
I'm sorry that I have to ask for your number for the reward program, but no, I won't give you mine in return.
8. False Advertising
That's really not the same item as the sale sign advertises. You really did read it wrong. And yes, I am sure. I put it there.
9. Sales
I know you really want the best bang for your buck, but recognize the type of store you shop at and the price range our items fall in. No, I can't use my employee discount on you. No, I can't give you a discount if you don't have your card. Yeah, $40 for a t-shirt is ridiculous, but you knew that coming to the register, didn't you?
10. Coupons
Please have all coupons ready upon arrival at the register. Please...just do it.. Also, didn't you just watch me put your money in the register, and now you want me to use a coupon? You're really going to make me return all this to use that? You are. The 20 cents was worth it.
11. Locked Bathrooms
Yeah, it is annoying that we have to keep it locked. But it's even more annoying when people steal things that aren't theirs. I don't make the rules, son.
12. Card Machines
Sometimes this really has me taking deep breaths. The screen has all the instructions on it, I verbally repeat them, yet it's still so difficult. Please don't yell at me when it doesn't read your card because you can see that I am still scanning all of your items.
13. Extra Items
"Can you look in the back anyways?"
Me: Stares at empty wall in back of store.
"Sorry, we don't have any."
14. Shoes
Oh, you said you want a size 7, 7.5, and 8 in every running and cross training shoe we have? It'll just be 20 minutes while I bang my head off the concrete wall in the back.
15. Free Ninety-Nine
I'm sorry it doesn't have a tag, but no, that doesn't mean it's free.
16. Greetings
Me: "Hi, how are you today?"
Customer: "JUST LOOKING."
17. Rants
I am merely here for my minimum wage. I'm sorry you hate literally everything about our store, and you say you'll never be back again, but I'll see you again on Monday like usual.
18. Receipts
It really is policy for me to give you your receipt because you'll be the first person to come back trying to return something for full price and get ticked when you can't.
19. Ordering
I can't control when we get truck or what is on it. Let me repeat that: I cannot.
20. Delaying Checkout
You forgot to get something, which is understandable... until you begin shopping again. I'm already 50 items deep in your purchase and unable to ring anyone else out. Please just come back. Please.
