Oh, Thanksgiving.
It’s a time for gratitude, fellowship, and casually overlooking the propaganda of our forefathers. As shady as its beginnings may be, however, there is something positive to say about a day that brings us together, and encourages us to reflect on what truly matters in our lives… just hours before our blatant consumerism causes us to charge into Target like a hungry stampede. I already feel all warm and fuzzy (and it’s not from a ridiculously price-cut cashmere sweater).
Of course, as anyone in his or her twenties comes to understand, the unofficial start of the holiday season is also a time to prepare for inevitable awkwardness. We've all been there, and it can sometimes have us feeling less than holly jolly.
So, without further ado, here are some of those moments captured by the experts of quarter-life crises, the cast of a little show called Friends.
1. Before the day begins, you'll have to find a way to reset your internal panic button.
It's probably impossible, but that's what all the wine is for.
2. You'll also have to do something about your "political talk" reflex.
3. In fact, if you have an opinion on anything at all, you should just file it away.
The only thought you're allowed to have is how good the food is.
4. Enthusiastically getting out of bed early to watch the Macy's parade is non-negotiable.
The one when you fake it 'til you make it.
5. And when Santa arrives, you better act like he paid off your student loan debt.
6. At some point, someone is going to tell you that you can't wear sweatpants to dinner.
7. And that you should save some before-dinner snacks for everyone else.
For a second there, silly me had no idea what you were implying.
8. If you're single on Thanksgiving, expect at least one person to ask you why.
No matter what you say afterward, this is what will be heard.
9. And if you aren't single, your family is probably picturing this:
10. Whether you (or your partner) have children or not, your family will be vocal about a certain ticking clock.
11. Some may even wonder if you're doing "it" right.
If you make it here, chances are you've hit the point of no return.
12. After dinner, you'll be able to enjoy some small-talk about how your career's going...
13. ...which will be followed by a few dozen comparisons to your seemingly more successful relatives.
Hang in there, champ.
14. If you need a distraction, this is the perfect opportunity to stake your claim on some leftovers.
15. Because if you don't, you know someone else will casually plunge a knife through your heart.
16. Alas, there is hope: the kids won't be allowed to eat too much dessert, and the real adults have self-control, which leaves you ready to strike.
17. And the friendly game of family football provides a long-sought outlet for your rage.
They'll actually praise you for it.
18. So, yes, Thanksgiving may have you feeling a little stressed throughout the day.
19. But, truth be told, most days do. So as far as I'm concerned, a chaotic mess filled with jokes at your expense, the people you love, and kick-butt food is better than your ordinary puddle of twenty-something sludge.
And by Thanksgiving's end, I bet you'll be thankful for that.
