This summer, after hanging around people both younger and older than me, I realized something: twenty is a very peculiar age.
Really though, it’s such a weird place to be at; you’re no longer a young adult (technically), so you can’t relate to everything teenagers do anymore, but you don’t quite feel adult enough (especially if you’re still in college and not working a legit full-time job yet) to relate completely to older adults. On the flip side, if you’re like me, you still enjoy hanging out with younger people and understand them on many levels, but you also enjoy spending time with adults who are able to share interesting life experiences with you.
It feels like a sort of limbo age. At least, that’s how I’ve decided to describe it. Not young adult anymore, not full-fledged adult yet. I feel, little by little, like I’m ascending (or descending?) further into actual adulthood, but I’m still not entirely comfortable with it. I went to my first bridal shower this summer, and my first wedding since I was six (so basically, the first wedding I was fully invested in mentally) for one of my closest childhood friends, and I kept thinking, "How am I already at this point? Does this make me old? Do I feel old?" I did kind of feel old, but I also felt like I could be eighteen again, especially when I returned to college and started being silly and weird with my friends again.
I also feel like this age demographic is somewhat underrepresented in different aspects of society. Take books, for example. There are so many young adult books (which is my favorite genre, and always will be; as the esteemed Hannah Poukish so eloquently discussed in a recent article, this genre will always be relevant and fun to read), and there are lots of choices for fiction geared toward adults (literary, genre, etc.), but there really aren’t too many focused on the college-age demographic, when you think about it. I did just hear about a developing genre, new adult, which centers on the 18-30 age group and seems to be gathering steam, so that’s hopeful. But I just wonder if this apparent dearth of literature depicting my current life experience and awkward limbo age makes me feel the awkwardness and limbo-ness of my age more acutely.
Something else, though, that recently made me feel the strangeness of my age was researching writing conferences/workshops. I already wrote a post about how rewarding it ended up being to attend a conference with people mostly older than me, but before that, when I was trying to find a conference, I became more than a little frustrated with the options I found available to me. I discovered so many awesome-sounding workshops for middle and high-school students, and countless ones for adults (one in Napa Valley included a wine tasting tour), but hardly any geared toward college-aged students. I couldn’t help but feel a little left out and lost. I get that people probably expect us to either do internships or work a summer job, but what about just a week-long conference? That research left me feeling slightly frustrated with my age, and definitely contributed to my perception of it as a sort of limbo state; if only I were still in high school (except not really), then I could choose from all these cool workshops! If only I were a teensy bit older, then I could get in on the wine tasting!
That being said, in all honesty, I’m very happy where I am right now. I know that I’m living one of the most wonderful stages of my life—at college, learning and living in a vibrant community full of friends—and I’m trying to take advantage of it as best I can. And, if I turn this discussion in a more positive light, I can see my age as a neat perspective from which I can empathize and form meaningful relationships with people of all ages, younger and older. Particularly as a writer, that’s a very valuable point to be at, and I know that I should appreciate it as long as I can.
