1. This is going to be such a great workout! Can’t wait to improve my body and myself! I’m going to feel great.
2. Is it bad that I’m already winded as I walk up the stairs to the cardio deck?
3. Can this count as my cardio for the day?
4. Of course there’s no stair master open.
5. I guess I could go run.
6. Just kidding, I hate running. Elliptical it is.
7. Okay, here we go. 30 minutes. No big deal.
8. I’ll watch some TV, listen to some music; this 30 minutes will fly by.
9. I’m sure it’s been 30 minutes by now.
10. It’s only been seven minutes? That’s got to be wrong. It’s been at least 25.
11. I’m going to die. 23 more minutes.
12. Okay, finished up cardio. Let’s head to the weight room.
13. Pull yourself together. There are attractive people down here. Walk in and act confident.
14. I left a puddle of sweat on the seat of this machine. I’m a monster.
15. Quick, wipe it up before anyone sees your butt sweat.
16. Well, I’m not gay, but that girl actually has a perfect body!
17. Why are her shorts so short?
18. Oh, because her thighs don’t touch.
19. I bet her thighs don’t chafe. Chafing sucks.
20. Wow, that guy is so hot. The gym is actually a mall for husband shopping.
21. I just saw my reflection in the mirror. Have I actually looked like this the entire time I’ve been here?
22. Is it appropriate to wear a turtleneck to the beach?
23. Abs are overrated.
24. At least I showed up. This was better than nothing, right?
25. Looks like it’s time to call it a day. I think I’m going to go get Chipotle.





















