If you're anything like me, you used to act a lot like Spongebob. We were bright, energetic pipsqueaks who only strived to work hard and please others. As we've grown up and learned more about the cruel world we live in, many of us have realized that we are now more similar to Squidward. Oh, don't believe me? I'll prove it:
1. We don't want to work...ever
Spongebobb, please stop shouting "I'm ready" into my ear every morning because I am most certainly not ready to go to work. I just want to sleep. Can't you do the cash register without me?
2. We like to be alone
Why would anyone want to spend their day hunched over a hot stove at the Krusty Krab when they could be alone in their house playing smooth jazz on their clarinet? Or in other words, who would want to be at work all day long when they could be curled up in bed with Netflix and a box of pizza?
3. We get annoyed easily
People are, well, annoying. We are annoyed by people who smile too much in the morning, people who brag about their daily workout routine before you've even had a cup of coffee, people that go on fancy vacations, people that just won't leave you alone, and the list only goes on.
4. We are a little self-centered
It's okay if you don't want to admit it, but you've caught yourself once or ten times checking yourself out in the mirror. There's nothing wrong with looking at your reflection and saying "Wow, I'm hot!"
5. We just want to sleep
Sleep is the most essential part of our day, hands down. Staying in bed for hours is no problem... except for when someone tries to wake you up. In that situation, prepare for all Hell to break loose.
6. We think everyone is a critic
No one is perfect, but once in a while you're going to feel judged for something weird that you do. Biting your nails, bombing a test or singing too loudly in the shower can feel like the whole world is watching (but don't worry, becuase they're usually not).
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7. We hate everyone
Yeah, I guess some people can be alright sometimes. But more often than not you hate everyone. Sorry if it sounds cruel, but it's honest.
See, we all have a little bit of this cartoon character inside us somewhere. Although it's hard to admit we act crabby (or squidy?) sometimes, we can still laugh at ourselves for it. Nothing is wrong with being Squidward, so let's just keep playing our clarinets, avoiding the Krusty Krab at all costs and admiring our reflection as much as we can!
