The past year has involved a lot of change in my life. A year ago, I graduated high school. A year ago, I moved away from home. In the past year, I have had to make new friends and I have had to lose friends. In the past year, I've had to learn to love new people, and learn when it’s okay to stop loving others. I've had loved ones die. I had new people come into my life full force. I have gone through a lot of change. A year ago, I was terrified of changing. I would freak out if I had to take a different way to school, or if I had to make my coffee a different way. I did not like things to change. I'm all about routine. I like things to stay the same. I like to see the same people. I like to talk to the same people, and I like to know what's going to happen next. Unfortunately, that's not how life works. God likes to throw things at you when you least expect it, and those things that caught me off guard, are the things that have shaped me into the person I am today-as opposed to the person I was this day, last year. Long story short, and not to be cliché, but I learned to go with the flow.
In my life, I like to know what's going to happen next. I like to know the next adventure is, I like to know the next rest stop, I like to know the next turn in the road. I like to be aware of what's going to happen next, and I like to be aware of what is going to happen even after that. I've learned, that in my family, at my school, and in my life, that just can't happen. It took me a really long time to be okay with this. Not just this year, but in the years leading up to it, God was helping me. It took me a long time to be at peace with the fact that something is going to happen, and I'm not going to know what it is or when it's going to happen. God really worked in my heart with this. And He had to work hard.
God threw curve balls at me this year when it came to daily life, and major things. I thought for sure I knew what I wanted my career to be, and then God changed my mind. I thought for sure that I had overcome the anxiety and depression I had before, and then God gave me more chances to rely on Him. I thought for sure that my family was going to be fine forever, and then God gave me a chance to see Him in the rough waves of divorce that we all went through. God flipped and flopped my world with change and gave me a million-gazillion chances to rely on Him.
Change can be bad. It can be really bad. Change can come in the form of natural disasters, deaths, or job losses. Change can also be good. Change can be marriages, babies being born, or getting a new job.
The way the change affects your attitude, however, is the main focus.
I can chose to be scared of what might happen next, or freak out when something doesn’t go as I thought it would, OR I can trust that God knows the bigger picture when I don't.
God has it all planned out and I know this, so why am I so scared? Why am I so anxious?
This past month, the word that keeps popping back up into my mind is peace.
I’ve done a lot of reading and praying on the word and what God had to say about it. In the book of Colossians, Paul is writing to the Colossian church who had false teachers that were teaching that Jesus was not really God. There were lies being spread and Paul, the author, wanted to put those rumors to rest as soon as possible. The past week or so I’ve done a lot of imagining. I’ve been trying to imagine myself as a Colossian church member who was told all of these wonderful things about Jesus by Paul, and then the next thing I knew, some dude showed up telling me that none of that was true. I would have SO much doubt.
Who was right? Who should I listen to? Is Jesus also God? But wait, they’re the same person? Who are you? Is God even real? What is even happening?
I would have a total of ZERO peace. In fact, peace would be the last thing on my mind.
And yet, Paul reminds them, “and let the peace that comes from Christ rule in your hearts.” (Col. 3:15)
In the midst of all your worries and all your anxiety and all your thoughts, let that peace in. Welcome that peace into your hearts with open arms. It comes from Christ, so it’s perfect, and never-ending, and bountiful, and fulfilling. And He wants you to have it. He wants me to have it.
God wants me to experience different changes and He wants to shake up my life a little bit here and there. When this happens, He doesn’t want me to curl up into a ball and beg Him to fix it and put it back the way it was. He wants me to trust, and to have a peace that our lives, no matter how flip-flopped around, are going exactly according to His plan.
