Relationships have never seemed to work out for me. I find a guy I really like and things go so well to begin with and then just like that, things are over and I'm heartbroken. For a lot of the last couple years, I've had my heart towards those who favor me, those who always chose me, and those who would tell me I was made for them. I'm a sucker for love, and everyone knows it.

One of my biggest (bad) habits actually happens to be me 'recycling' my exes. What I mean by that is constantly going back to them over and over and over, no matter how many times you've burned them, they've burned you, or just how unfit the two of you really were for each other. In the last four years, I've dated three guys, now I've tried to talk to others, but I always find myself stuck with these three. I can honestly see myself with every one of them, as they all have characteristics of my perfect person, but I can't have all three. You get one person, and that's it. That's at least what I'd like to think anyway.

I'm always left with one question after (and sometimes during) every situation I go through with these boys; Do I give up or do I try harder? Most would say give up completely while others would tell me to follow my heart and make myself happy. But the truth is the more you settle with your past and how they made you feel, the harder it will be to move forward.

The main reason so many girls go back to their exes is for the sole purpose of feeling like they're safe, they're in familiar territory. For example, Boy B (we'll call him that, so he's doesn't have to worry about any more unwanted attention) and Boy A are really good about making me feel like I belong, like I'm wanted, and it feels like when they're next to me nothing bad will ever happen; it's just me and them. That's very comforting.

But then there is Boy C, our relationship has always been super rocky. But with every chance given, I see a side I remember that makes everything in our world feel okay. To feel comfortable is very important to me, and the best part is I never have to go and explain why I am a certain way because they all understand me. That just might be why I'm always so scared about meeting someone new. I'm very afraid of starting over.

So the question here is, give up or try harder, and the choice is always up to you. In my experience, I've learned that good things come to those who wait. I've waited and waited for all these boys at least one time or another and they all have managed to make their way back. But with that being said, we have also managed to go our separate ways too many times. I will always be one to keep an open mind and I know the Lord works in some mysterious ways, but fight for what you want, try harder, and when you've had enough it's okay to move forward and to let go.

For my girls (and guys) stuck out there like I am, trust yourself and remember you don't have to settle. You are worth so much more than what you can see sometimes. Wherever you are in this process, I wish you luck, happiness, and so much love, not only from others but from yourself too.