The True Meaning Of Gift Giving

The True Meaning Of Gift Giving

The Needs vs. The Wants
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I think we have forgotten the true meaning of giving gifts. When you walk into any store, you'll see signs that say "For that special someone" or "For dad". Advertisements go out on the television and in the newspaper full of just things that people will want. When we were younger, it was easy to know what we wanted for Christmas because we would just look in the adverts and put them on our Christmas Lists to Santa.

When you would open your presents, you would always, not matter what, get only about half of the stuff on your list. I know that when I was little, I would always get disappointed that I didn't get everything I wanted.

I now understand why it worked like that. If my parents and Santa didn't get me everything I wanted for Christmas, then they would have stuff to get me for my birthday, and majority of the time, the stuff I thought I wanted I didn't really want. "Want" is a funny thing around Christmas time.

We want and want and want so much, but we never think about the things we actually need. I may want a typewriter for Christmas, but I actually need sweaters and socks. I think that we ask for the things we want instead of what we need because we assume that because it's Christmas, we might actually get the ridiculous things just because we want it.

I asked my siblings this year what they wanted for Christmas and they listed off things upon things that I knew they were going to use once. I asked them for things that would mean something and they said they would have to get back to me on that. It's interesting how when you're asked for things that you want in life, you can easily rattle things off, but when you're asked for things you need, you have to take some time and think.

As we grow older, we begin to ask for less fun and interesting things. For example, this year I asked for sweaters and a pair of boots. How boring is that? My Christmas list used to be so exciting with Barbie this and Barbie that. The presents that I have bought my family members this year are not things that they have asked for, they are things that I think they will like.

See, that 's the main problem with giving these gifts; you have to guess that someone will like a certain gift because they like that color or sports team. You risk them not liking it, but even if they don't they won't say that they don't, they will pretend and say thanks and then return it the next day.

When did giving become a contest? When you give a gift to let's say your mom and you tell you sister what you got her and then she tells you what she got her and it's better than your present, what do you do? I would usually go and get something extra that's small, just to show that I care a little bit more. Giving someone a gift shouldn't be about who give the bigger and better present, it should be about who gives the one that they will like the most.

Giving a gift shows how much someone means to you. That they are so important to you that you are willing to use your hard-earned money to buy something and give it away not expecting anything in return. At Christmas, I tend to give a lot more presents to everyone then I probably should, but I don't do it to get credit for giving a lot of gifts. I give so much because I enjoy seeing people realize that someone cares.

As you shop for presents in the short time left before Christmas, I hope you remember what your gift really means. It is more than just a watch, it's you giving them a way to always know the time. It's more than just a random present you grabbed running out of the grocery store, it has meaning, it has purpose. It shows the gift of giving which is the most important gift of all.

Cover Image Credit: Pexels

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To The Person Who Feels Suicidal But Doesn't Want To Die

Suicidal thoughts are not black and white.
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Everyone assumes that if you have suicidal thoughts that means you want to die.

Suicidal thoughts are thought of in such black-and-white terms. Either you have suicidal thoughts and you want to die, or you don't have suicidal thoughts and you want to live. What most people don't understand is there are some stuck in the gray area of those two statements, I for one am one of them.

I've had suicidal thoughts since I was a kid.

My first recollection of it was when I came home after school one day and got in trouble, and while I was just sitting in the dining room I kept thinking, “I wonder what it would be like to take a knife from the kitchen and just shove it into my stomach." I didn't want to die, or even hurt myself for that matter. But those thoughts haven't stopped since.

I've thought about going into the bathroom and taking every single pill I could find and just drifting to sleep and never waking back up, I've thought about hurting myself to take the pain away, just a few days ago on my way to work I thought about driving my car straight into a tree. But I didn't. Why? Because even though that urge was so strong, I didn't want to die. I still don't, I don't want my life to end.

I don't think I've ever told anyone about these feelings. I don't want others to worry because the first thing anyone thinks when you tell them you have thoughts about hurting or killing yourself is that you're absolutely going to do it and they begin to panic. Yes, I have suicidal thoughts, but I don't want to die.

It's a confusing feeling, it's a scary feeling.

When the depression takes over you feel like you aren't in control. It's like you're drowning.

Every bad memory, every single thing that hurt you, every bad thing you've ever done comes back and grabs you by the ankle and drags you back under the water just as you're about the reach the surface. It's suffocating and not being able to do anything about it.

The hardest part is you never know when these thoughts are going to come. Some days you're just so happy and can't believe how good your life is, and the very next day you could be alone in a dark room unable to see because of the tears welling up in your eyes and thinking you'd be better off dead. You feel alone, you feel like a burden to everyone around you, you feel like the world would be better off without you. I wish it was something I could just turn off but I can't, no matter how hard I try.

These feelings come in waves.

It feels like you're swimming and the sun is shining and you're having a great time until a wave comes and sucks you under into the darkness of the water. No matter how hard you try to reach the surface again a new wave comes and hits you back under again, and again, and again.

And then it just stops.

But you never know when the next wave is going to come. You never know when you're going to be sucked back under.

I always wondered if I was the only one like this.

It didn't make any sense to me, how did I think about suicide so often but not want to die? But I was thinking about it in black and white, I thought I wasn't allowed to have those feelings since I wasn't going to act on them. But then I read articles much like this one and I realized I'm not the only one. Suicidal thoughts aren't black and white, and my feelings are valid.

To everyone who feels this way, you aren't alone.

I thought I was for the longest time, I thought I was the only one who felt this way and I didn't understand how I could feel this way. But please, I implore you to talk to someone, anyone, about the way you're feeling, whether it be a family member, significant other, a friend, a therapist.

My biggest mistake all these years was never telling anyone how I feel in fear that they would either brush me off because “who could be suicidal but not want to die?" or panic and try to commit me to a hospital or something. Writing this article has been the greatest feeling of relief I've felt in a long time, talking about it helps. I know it's scary to tell people how you're feeling, but you're not alone and you don't have to go through this alone.

Suicidal thoughts aren't black and white, your feelings are valid, and there are people here for you. You are not alone.

If you or someone you know is experiencing suicidal thoughts, call the National Suicide Prevention Hotline — 1-800-273-8255


Cover Image Credit: BengaliClicker

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Your Health Journey Is A Marathon, Not A Sprint

Perfection takes time.

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When you first start to do something, you have all of the motivation in the world to accomplish that goal set out in front of you, especially when it comes to being healthier. The problem is as you continue through this journey and food and laziness kick in, motivation slips. It's human, and it happens to everyone no matter how physically strong they are.

Trying to be healthier doesn't always mean losing weight. It can be so your knees don't ache as much, so you don't feel as out of breath climbing stairs, or any goal you have set for yourself. Being healthier is personal and different from person to person.

I will be the first to admit that there are plenty of changes I would love to make about myself. From my weight to my body type and many other things about myself inside and out. I am by no means the most confident person about how I look, but I have worked hard for the past year to be an overall healthier person.

Becoming healthier isn't about looking thinner or fitting into a specific size of clothes. It is about taking care of yourself from eating better to working out more. There comes a feeling of confidence in what your body can do if you put a little love in it.

Perfection takes time, and I know firsthand how frustrating trying to be healthier can be.

Pizza tastes so much better than salad. It is so easy to fall into a rhythm of something that seems never to change whether that is your weight or your mile time. Sadly, you can't build a city, or become healthier overnight.

We see people who are thinner, curvier, smarter, faster, and so much more than us. We all waste time comparing ourselves to people around us and on our timelines, but some of our biggest strengths are our individuality and the gift of getting back up after falling down.

All I can say is, please don't give up on your goal of being healthier because this is solely for you. We can have a great support system in the world and have everyone in our corner, but that isn't enough.

You need yourself. You need to know that if you don't entirely put yourself in this journey, then you won't fully succeed. Your commitment to bettering yourself can keep you going even if you want to give up.

Your motivation may not be at its peak level right now, and you may have every cell in your body screaming at you to quit. Don't do it. Prove to yourself that you can keep going no matter what. Not giving up will be worth it. The results and taking the hard way will make you a stronger person inside and out.

You can do this. You can do anything you want to accomplish if you just believe in yourself. You need to understand that becoming healthier takes endurance. There will be periods where you slow down and may not be going at your fastest pace. The difference is that you are not giving up and you are still trying and moving.

Don't treat becoming healthier as a sprint: short term and quick. That mentality will only leave you feeling deflated and defeated. It is a life-long marathon of pacing yourself and pushing yourself further than ever before.

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