Your 20s are supposed to be the best time of your life. Your reckless, outgoing, crazy, exciting, life changing years. At least that's what I thought. But realistically, your early twenties are spent trying to figure out who the hell you are, where you're going, how fast, with who, if you're ever going to find love, how to find love, trying to be fit, scandalous but conservative, interesting, happy....IT'S SO COMPLICATED. But you know, you gotta act like it's nothing.
It's supposed to be the time where you go out and happen to fall into the arms of your soul mate, but somehow you keep ending up with guys who pretend they're into you until they don't get what they want. Or guys who are secretly batting for the other team but haven't realized it yet. Or even better, guys who are actually into you but they give you the hee bee jee bee's. Regardless of which category they seem to fall under, definitely not your soul mate.
Then it's like, okay you go to college why not just date a guy from school. Seriously? You really want me to take a chance with some guy from my 8 a.m. whom I will be stuck seeing for the next three months, at 8 a.m., every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday...? I think I'll stick to the single life.
Next we take into account the really buff, hot guy from the gym who you manage to run into on the reg. You know, the guy that almost hit you in the noggin with those dumbbells because you walked right into it while starring at his lovely figure. I guess that's one way to break the ice...so smooth. Let's look at the bigger picture. Sound's great at first, you can have gym dates and fall in love until he realizes you're crazy, it falls apart and before you know it you're stuck seeing him at the gym everyday of your life. Again, I'll stick to the single life.
So hey, there's online dating. You know, everyone has a Tinder these days. Finally convince myself to log on and the first message I get is something about doing the dirty, "what that mouth do?" and taking my clothing off. Totally the perfect dating scene... Not. So basically instantly delete that. Never trying again.
Then we get into the blind dates, so fun! You know, your friends hook you up with someone they think you'll be perfect with and happy and you have so much in common. This might sound like a great idea until you get to know them, realize they're crazy, mean, and overall a degrading human being but you have no idea how to tell your friend. All I know is when we both attend their wedding it's definitely going to be awkward. Oh well. TOTALLY sticking to the single life.
So the next time someone asks me why I'm single and not ready to mingle, hopefully they'll understand. I'm just a small-town girl.... LIVING IN A CREEPY WORLD.
Kitten, all hail those in their 20s trying to get it together.
