I am going to start this article with a quote from one of my favorite poets, R.H Sin:
"I no longer grieve the ending of
any of my relationships because
I know what's next is better
than what I had, and whatever
belongs to me, will remain with me.
I can't lose the one who
deserves to be a part of my life"
Growing up in a world where things are constantly changing, we are more often led to believe that everyone you lose is a loss. We're almost brainwashed into thinking that nothing positive, nor productive, can amount from losing someone who means, or meant, a lot to you. Whether you made the conscious decision to remove someone from your life because of unhealthy circumstances, or if someone removes themselves from your life, it sucks. It can be one of the most unimaginable and unbearable feelings to begin with, but over time, the pain lessens and your cluttered mind becomes a little clearer day by day until realization kicks in that you don't actually need that person in your life. When that moment comes, things become easier.
I believe that good things end in your life so better things can happen, and with that, comes hand in hand the notion that everything happens for a reason. Loss may be defined as the fact or process of losing something or someone, but when you apply specific circumstances to the situation, it becomes a little easier to accept that what you've lost isn't necessarily a loss. You as an individual have the capacity to consciously decide who has a positive impact on your life and who has a negative impact. Someone can only be defined as a loss if you allow them to be defined as that. There is obviously a reason that the person you've lost isn't in your life anymore, so you just have to pick up the pieces, plant a smile on your face and find comfort in the fact that as empty or as lost as you may be feeling, things will get better. I promise.
People only deserve to be in your life if they add something to it. If they enrich your experiences and shape your memories then they are worthy of your time and your presence. If not, so be it. If someone brings you down and doesn't treat you with the respect you deserve, don't accept their behavior just because it's what you think you deserve. In life, some people will push their luck and try and push your boundaries. Don't let them. If you're questioning or trying to second guess someone's words or actions, don't mull it over and search for reasons as to why you shouldn't cut them out. Act on instinct and gut, not emotion and persuasion. You, and only you, can make that decision. Even though somebody may be a loss in the physical sense of the word, it doesn't mean they have to be a loss in the emotional sense, too.
It's hard to accept that not everyone who enters your life is meant to stay. You are meant to discover a lot of different people to decipher the good from the bad. Don't settle for anything less. If you feel like you're falling apart, remind yourself of how that person made you feel when you decided that you didn't want them in your life anymore. And if you didn't make the decision to remove them, then as long as you're comfortable in the fact that you treated them with respect and kindness, then you know that they aren't worthy of your time. Surround yourself with people who enrich your life, not drag you down and no longer serve as support. The truth of the matter is that everyone you meet teaches you something -- you'll either grow with or fall apart from. So put on a brave face, because sometimes, it's better to let go.
