It is, at its core, a contradiction. We think it makes us strong, but we end up weak and brittle. We think it will give us peace, but we become paralyzed with anxiety and fear. We think it makes us lovable. But it isolates us from everyone who loves us. It promises us beauty and grace but it makes us merciless skeletons. All we want is to be in control, but it strips us of any control we had left and makes us its slave.

It is not our friend. It is not our ally. It is trying to kill us. Its promises are empty and its words are lies. Every meal we skip, the stronger it gets and the weaker we get. Every time we kneel before the toilet its hold on us gets tighter and tighter until it owns all of us. We don’t end up in loving relationships or on magazine covers. We end up in abusive relationships, because we think that’s what we deserve, in psych wards or graveyards, because that is where it wants us.

Being empty won’t make you special. It will make you dead. Being hungry won’t make you untouchable. It will make you vulnerable and helpless. Being a size 00 won’t make you lovely, it will make you unable to give or receive love. So please, don’t be fooled by its pretty words and empty promises. It’s not your savior, it’s a slave owner. And it wants you. It wants to claim you, beat you, and, eventually, kill you.

Do not let it. Fight back. It’s not too late. And you don’t have to do it alone. There are so many other recovery warriors out there who are ready and willing to pick you up and carry you out of your little hell until you’re ready to stand on your own two feet and fight for your life. So speak up, reach out. It’s worth it, trust me.