If Addiction Could Talk To 7-Year-Old Me, I Hope It'd Apologize For Stealing The Person I'd Become

If Addiction Could Talk To 7-Year-Old Me, I Hope It'd Apologize For Stealing The Person I'd Become

I am sorry for ruining your life, but that's my job and always the case.


As I once was a little girl who watched someone I love struggle with addiction, I want whomever you are reading this to know that there is freedom from what you have seen. You are more than a child who saw addiction destroy, not only your family but the person you love and you.

There is healing in all the things you have gone through, and all the things you walled up for no one to see. There is hope, and there is accepting that your past has made you stronger. What you saw and thought doesn't define you.

Dear little girl who is 7 years old, I want to take a moment and write you this note.

I'm sorry for meeting you face to face, even when you didn't know who I was, but slowly as time went on you figured out my real name. I am sorry for ruining your life, but that's my job and always the case. I can never take back what I did but here I am today.

When that day came and you were washed away know it was me and not whom you love, but I know it still hurts and haunts you to this day. The anger you had and have was me winning and still trying to steal the race, and me wanting you to think of the worst case. I wanted you to think you were never good enough to be fully loved and I'm sorry for making you feel like you were replaced. I'm sorry for making you think the way you do about yourself till this day.

This word I'm apart of, that I am, and this game has made your heart torn and broken in every way. And every time your heart tries to pick up each piece somehow it ends up back on the floor with a new untangled maze.

I'm sorry that I have left you with fear of the unknown, heartbreak, and the wounds that you have had to bear through only for them to smash wide open with tears. And how you always seem to go back to the hurt, and trying to say you have been okay through the years. I'm sorry that you felt it was all your fault and things could have changed.

But little girl, blame me. I need you to understand how sorry I am. Now I left you stuck in this trying to find a way out, but the only way out is the key that you can't seem to find. I don't want you to break the chain that you have shaken and will still find every way to beat.

I have seen how much you've grown and I'm sorry for everything I've put you through, but I was the one who taught you what not to do... what not to turn to... and you have every right to be upset at me for always popping back up. I'm sorry and I hope one day you see and forgive me.

Dear little girl who is 7 years old I want to take a moment...and I hope you read this note

My name is addiction and I hope you one day see how truly sorry I am for stealing the person you still seem to chase. My name is addiction and I'm sorry for still seeing you till this day.


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10 Bible Verses for Self Esteem

Sometimes you need to search for inner strength and find your own self worth.

We all get those days that we just don't feel good enough for anything. Everything is going wrong. For me, I go to the bible to read the words of God. His personal dialog for us is filled with encouragement, hope, and lessons we can learn from. Here are my top ten verses that are uplifting and impacting when at the lowest of lows:

1. Philippians 4:13:

I can do all things in Him who strengthens me.

2. Psalm 46:5

God is within her, she will not fall.

3. Proverbs 31:25

She is clothed with strength and dignity, and she laughs without fear of the future.

4. Psalm 28:76

The Lord is my strength and my shield.

5. 1 Corinthians 25:10

By the grace of God, I am what I am.

6. Romans 5:8

I loved you at your darkest.

7. Psalm 62:5-6

Only God gives inward peace, and I depend on Him. God alone is the mighty rock that keeps me safe, and he is the fortress where I feel secure.

8. 2 Timothy 1:7

For the Spirit God gave us does not make us timid, but gives us power, love, and self-discipline.

9. 1 Peter 2:9

But you are a chosen race, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people for his own possession, that you may proclaim the excellencies of him who called you out of darkness into his marvelous light.

10. 2 Chronicles 20:15

The battle is not ours, but God's.

Cover Image Credit: chinadaily

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Denver's Decision To Decriminalize Magic Mushrooms Offers New Hope For Those Struggling With Mental Illness

If we want to really make progress in mental health treatment, we might have to start considering solutions that are a little bit unorthodox.


Admittedly, magic mushrooms are not the first drug that comes to mind when you think of Denver, Colorado. However, this week the residents of Denver will vote on whether to decriminalize psilocybin mushrooms as part of a movement nicknamed "Decriminalize Denver." The movement is the nation's first public referendum on hallucinogenic mushrooms. Initiative 301 aims to ratify the directive that enforcing laws for personal use or possession of psilocybin mushrooms "shall be the lowest law enforcement priority in the City and County of Denver."

While the motives behind decriminalization are undeniably varied, one major reason to support the legalization of magic mushrooms is the fact that they offer a lot of potential in long-term treatment of mental illness and addiction. According to a study led by Jeremy Daniel and Margaret Haberman at the South Dakota State University College of Pharmacy in 2017, psilocybin mushrooms have high affinity for several serotonin receptors located in numerous areas of the brain, including the cerebral cortex and thalamus.

Findings like these point to the fact that psilocybin, the active ingredient in magic mushrooms, may be an effective treatment for addiction, depression, chronic pain, anxiety, and post-traumatic stress disorder.

The benefits are so convincing that the FDA has granted "breakthrough therapy" status to study psilocybin for treating depression due to the fact that preliminary evidence shows "the drug may demonstrate substantial improvement over available therapy," meaning magic mushrooms might be closer to their namesake after all, bringing new hope for those who have exhausted other options and found them more harmful than helpful.

Kevin Matthews, the campaign director of "Decriminalize Denver," credits psilocybin mushrooms with "really saving [his] life" following his medical discharge from the United States Military Academy due to his major depression. Matthews says his "life had crumbled beneath [his] feet" and suffered without a solution for years until his friends introduced him to magic mushrooms. Since discovering their potential for treating his depression, he's dedicated his life to bringing others with severe mental illnesses the same opportunity.

A 2015 paper from the University of Alabama went so far as to find that "classic psychedelic use is associated with reduced psychological distress and suicidality in the United States adult population." Findings like these are imperative, especially in a time when suicide rates have risen 30% in the last decade.

If we want to really make progress in mental health treatment, we might have to start considering solutions that are a little bit unorthodox.

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