As I once was a little girl who watched someone I love struggle with addiction, I want whomever you are reading this to know that there is freedom from what you have seen. You are more than a child who saw addiction destroy, not only your family but the person you love and you.
There is healing in all the things you have gone through, and all the things you walled up for no one to see. There is hope, and there is accepting that your past has made you stronger. What you saw and thought doesn't define you.
Dear little girl who is 7 years old, I want to take a moment and write you this note.
I'm sorry for meeting you face to face, even when you didn't know who I was, but slowly as time went on you figured out my real name. I am sorry for ruining your life, but that's my job and always the case. I can never take back what I did but here I am today.
When that day came and you were washed away know it was me and not whom you love, but I know it still hurts and haunts you to this day. The anger you had and have was me winning and still trying to steal the race, and me wanting you to think of the worst case. I wanted you to think you were never good enough to be fully loved and I'm sorry for making you feel like you were replaced. I'm sorry for making you think the way you do about yourself till this day.
This word I'm apart of, that I am, and this game has made your heart torn and broken in every way. And every time your heart tries to pick up each piece somehow it ends up back on the floor with a new untangled maze.
I'm sorry that I have left you with fear of the unknown, heartbreak, and the wounds that you have had to bear through only for them to smash wide open with tears. And how you always seem to go back to the hurt, and trying to say you have been okay through the years. I'm sorry that you felt it was all your fault and things could have changed.
But little girl, blame me. I need you to understand how sorry I am. Now I left you stuck in this trying to find a way out, but the only way out is the key that you can't seem to find. I don't want you to break the chain that you have shaken and will still find every way to beat.
I have seen how much you've grown and I'm sorry for everything I've put you through, but I was the one who taught you what not to do... what not to turn to... and you have every right to be upset at me for always popping back up. I'm sorry and I hope one day you see and forgive me.
Dear little girl who is 7 years old I want to take a moment...and I hope you read this note
My name is addiction and I hope you one day see how truly sorry I am for stealing the person you still seem to chase. My name is addiction and I'm sorry for still seeing you till this day.