I am a big picture type of girl. For as long as I could remember, I’ve always had a 10-year plan. My 10-year plan had always been the same for as long as I could remember. I plan everything. By the hour, by the day, by the week, by month. I write “make to-do list” on my to-do list. I had always found comfort in knowing I had it all figured out. I knew when I was going to graduate college, where I wanted to find a job, who I wanted to marry, spend the rest of my life with and have children with. I felt unstoppable.
Then, the rug got pulled out from underneath me. My world did a complete 180 and I felt like I had no control over my life. I felt like I couldn’t breathe. I knew that picture of my life that I fell so much in love with, wasn’t how my life was going to end up. Everything was going wrong. I lost one of my best friends, my relationship with my parents wasn’t what I wanted it to be and the person who I thought would always be my rock and my constant walked away. I didn’t even have the same relationship with myself that I once had. It felt like the more I tried to control everything around me, the worse things became. I honestly didn't think I was ever going to be able to love myself or my life the way I did before ever again.
I stumbled across a quote that said: “Those who leave everything in God’s hands will eventually see God’s hands in everything.” I knew that I had to start believing that there was a reason for everything. I honestly don’t know what tomorrow is going to bring or what three years from now are going to bring. If you had told me that six months ago, I wouldn’t have listened to you because, like I said, I thought I had it all figured out.
I am a true believer that God only gives us what we need. Unfortunately, too often, what we need and what we want are two very different things. Coming to terms with that idea was so hard for me at first. I now find so much comfort in it. I know that no matter what happens in my life or how many mistakes I make, God will always ensure that I am on the right path. I may not know what His plan for me is right now, but I do know that it’s something amazing. We often times become so consumed with what we believe is right for us, we forget that God always has our best interest at heart. With everything I have battled with this past school year, I found that leaving my happiness and leaving my plan in God’s hands makes me a better woman and a happier person. I find comfort in knowing that what is meant for me will find me.
Once I started to accept the uncertainty and say “it’s not in God’s plan” when life didn’t go my way, I found that I was no longer worried about having a perfect life, because I came to realize God already has a perfect life planned for me. These last few months, I have encountered so many amazing people and have been given so many beautiful opportunities that were never in my original 10-year plan. People and opportunities I now couldn’t even imagine my life without.
So, here is my advice to you:
Don’t force it. Feelings, plans, places, relationships, anything. God has such an amazing plan for you and the most beautiful part of it all, is that you have no idea what is in store for you.
