Weakness. A muddle of pride and weakness. There is no middle ground, tottering between pride and despair; yet perhaps it is really pride itself that is the root of despair, focusing so much on yourself and how you are so bad that no one can save you.
Fear. Fear that you are not good enough. Fear that others are better than you. Fear that they can do it, and you can't, and you will be left behind, looked down upon, or just be left with sore pride.
Trust. Trust is the remedy. Trust that there is nothing you can do to save yourself but there is someone else who can save you–the Savior of the World, Jesus Christ, if you only let Him, if you only trust in Him.
We cannot see our weakness without trustung in God and His love and mercy without going into despair. We cannot resist fear if we do not trust. In the face of becoming overwhelmed, we must trust that He will give us what we need to make it through and do a job well-done to give Him glory. After all, when have we ever done anything good on our own? All goodness comes from Him, so it is silly to think that we could ever do good without His help and by the work of His hands.
To be able to see our own weaknesses is painful because of our pride. Sometimes we want to hide from it or try to convince ourselves that we really don't have those weaknesses, but weaknesses are actually a gift. Of course sin is not a gift, but our weak nature is in that it makes us cling to God and recognize the true reality of who we are. We are God's children, and we cannot do anything on our own. We are completely dependent on Him. Our weaknesses remind us of that and help us to bring even greater glory to Him as we rejoice in that He is able to lift us out from it all.
No matter what is troubling us or weighing us down or making us feel that we are incapable, "He is able to guard what [we] have entrusted to Him" (2 Timothy 1:12). This includes all of our temptations to sin. We need not fear but only trust in Him because He will guide us out from the depths of our weaknesses.
May God bless us with humble confidence in Him. Amen.
