Don't Let Your Trust Issues Prevent You From Trusting God

Don't Let Your Trust Issues Prevent You From Trusting God

God is trying to tell you that if you let the people of this world tear down your walls and break your chains when they disappoint you it will only cause that wall to get bigger and those chains to get stronger.

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I have trust issues. Yes, I admit it. I'll scream it at the top of my lungs on top of the highest mountain and proclaim it to the world. This flaw that consumes my life and affects just about all my relationships, friendships and my own relationship with my family has instilled in me a fear that continues to chase after me. This fear runs after me a little faster every time someone new comes into my life. This fear has manipulated my way of thinking that everyone that I get close to is going to hurt me. This fear has consumed me like a wildfire and has slowly built this wall that I don't let anyone tear down, not even God himself.

I recently, if you have read my previous articles, went through a terrible heartbreak. This served as the last straw of trust for me. It took everything in me to trust that person and let that person break down the wall that I had. Just when I felt freed from the bondage I was in and all my trust issues vanished, that person proved themselves to be just like everyone before him.

There was only one thing to do now, rebuild.

Rebuild that wall that I had up before. Starting from scratch, but this time bigger than it was before. Every day for those few months I worked on that wall. Building it by, not allowing myself to form real relationships with the people that surrounded me. Running away as soon as I saw a real connection forming with someone because the only thing I saw at that moment was that fear I mentioned starting to chase after me again.

But God stopped me one day when I was hard at work building this wall. He stopped me in my building and said: "hand over that brick you are about to lay." Naturally, I let my trust issues affect me at that moment and I struggled to hand it over to Him because I almost felt like I didn't even trust God himself anymore.

God knew this. God knew that I didn't trust him and he knew why. He saw all my hurt and heartbreak and he knew that it was going to take a lot more than just a demand for me to hand over the bricks I was lying to build this wall.

I watched that as I began to lay bricks and build God began to take one away after every one I laid. This caused me to build faster and almost try and "outdo" God.

But, just as I started to see that God could tear down my wall just as fast as I could build it. I saw I wasn't making any progress and I surrendered.

There is where he finally had my attention. There is where he let me know that I had to wrong idea of him and reminded me of everything he promises me. And if you are in this situation right now struggling with trusting that new guy that has come into your life, or that new friend, or maybe a family member you thought you could tell everything to there are a few things God wants you to know:

"Stop letting people of this world tear down your walls let me do it." — God

If you reference back earlier in this article you will read in bold how I let someone of this world tear down my wall that I had built due to trust issues. God reassured me that people of this world, your boyfriend/girlfriend, your family, your friends may be there for you now and it may seem fine and dandy when they help that wall come down but, what happens when they disappoint you in some way? You begin to rebuild that wall.

God is trying to tell you that if you let the people of this world tear down your walls and break your chains when they disappoint you it will only cause that wall to get bigger and those chains to get stronger.

God wants you to know that he says:

"Do not be afraid. The Lord your God goes with you and he will never leave you nor forsake you" — Deuteronomy 31:6

Reading that, just know that God is telling you that the fear that is engraved in your heart he says DO NOT be afraid of it because HE IS WITH YOU. God is telling you, right here and right now that HE WILL NEVER LEAVE YOU and HE WILL NEVER FORSAKE YOU. Meaning, that people will leave, forsake and disappoint you ultimately causing you to build that wall higher every time.

But, God will never be the reason your wall goes up he will be the PERMANENT reason it comes down.

"If you have faith you will trust me even when you don't understand or want too." — God

God wants you to know that trusting him will single-handedly be the best decision you've ever made. He promises you that:

When you can't see, he will lead you. When you can't hear he will show you. When you can't stand he will carry you. When you are lost he will always find you. When you are weak he is mighty. He will be everything you need but the catch is, you have to trust him first before he can do any of these things for you.

There are times where I am trusting in God but I am completely clueless as to what he is doing. Those are the times I talk to him and I tell him "I don't have any idea how this is gonna work but I know that you are working in my waiting. I know that you will prove that your plan was always better."

Trusting God is one of the scariest things you will ever do. Why? Well, sometimes when you are trusting God and waiting for him to show up he is silent. He doesn't keep you informed on the latest plan he just does it out of nowhere. Sometimes he isn't silent and tells you that you need to do something and maybe it's something that stretches your comfort zone but he promises that his ways and his plans are always better for our lives than our own are.

"My thoughts are nothing like your thoughts," says the LORD. "And my ways are far beyond anything you could imagine." — Isaiah 55:8

Do you realize that the only things God has ever asked you to do are to love him and… Trust him?

"Trust in the LORD with all your heart" — Proverbs 3:5
The man answered, "'You must love the LORD your God with all your heart, all your soul, all your strength, and all your mind.' And, 'Love your neighbor as yourself." — Luke 10:27

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To Everyone Who Hasn't Had Sex Yet, Wait For Marriage, It's The Right Move

If you have not had sex yet, wait.

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Premarital sex is not a new concept, no matter how much people like to pretend it is. You can trace scripture and historical texts back thousands of year to see that lust and fornication have been a problem since… well, since we humans have been problems.

They tell you in sex ed that sex causes you to form a bond with someone. They throw some big chemical names at you that are apparently in your body and cause that emotional attachment to happen, then you move on (or back to) how important condoms are and why STDs are so scary.

As a middle schooler or teenager, you can't understand what it means to become permanently connected to someone as a result of a quick, physical act.

If you haven't even had your first kiss, you really can't imagine what it's like to develop such a complex and intimate connection with someone because you have yet to feel the butterflies in your stomach from a kiss. So you really don't know what it's like to have a whole different type of feeling in your stomach.

You never forget your first love. It's one of the most cliche things you consistently hear, but it's true. Ask anyone. I guarantee your parents can still spurt out their first love's name in a few seconds. And most people never forget their first time. I know all my friends can recount that often awkward and slightly terrifying moment as if it happened an hour ago. When you mix those two, especially if you are in your teens, oh boy.

You never forget that. No matter how hard you try.

Everything you hear about sex is true: it's amazing, fantastic, life-changing, etc. There's a reason people have done it as frequently as they do, for as long as they have. But every time you sleep with someone, you leave a piece of yourself with them. Every time you choose to take that final physical step with someone, you cannot go back and collect that piece of your dignity and soul that you left with someone.

So, imagine what happens when you break up with someone you've slept with. Or that you just hooked up with. You have given someone a little slice of yourself forever. And you can never get it back. And imagine what happens when you do that multiple times. You give a piece of yourself to five, 10, 15, 20 or more people. Then you meet the person that you want to spend forever with. And you no longer have that whole part of you. You've given pieces away, and you can no longer give those to the love of your life.

So, save those pieces for your future spouse.

If you have not had sex yet, wait. If you have, consider not giving more pieces of yourself away to people who are not your spouse. Sex was created to be between two spouses, nobody else. So we need to try to maintain its integrity.

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I've Never Been to Church, but I Believe in a Greater Being

Written during an existential crisis

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I was raised without religion - not necessarily as an atheist but just had never been involved with a church or any church's teachings. This wasn't particularly any decision on my own part, just how life unfolded from my background. An issue that I've constantly struggled with, as early as when I was in first grade, is how life came to be. Quite often, I've had strong, mentally burdening existential crises land on me - possibly because of the lack of religion in my life. When these crises happen, I think often of religion, and in the possibility of a greater being.

Though I've never spent a day in my life at Church, I've developed my own beliefs in a greater being over the years.

The main reason for this is the irrationality of life. There is no proven explanation for how we came to be. Though we can trace back to a certain point - such as how our person, continent, world, planet, solar system was created, there comes a point when we can't explain any further. Everything comes from something. The first cell split into two cells, which continued to split. But what could have caused the first cell? What could possibly have caused something to come from nothing? There are theories that attempt to explain this, such as a disturbance in the blank universe which created the first cells. But, what caused this disturbance? This is something that I'll never be able to prove or even to wrap my head around.

Beyond this, there are so many other parts in our existence that don't make sense or can't be explained. For instance, in quantum physics, particles will split apart for no apparent reason, but when you put a camera up to watch the particles up close (all factors remaining the same), the particles no longer split. Also, there have been proven variations in the most basic physics laws, such as gravity. But no explanation to explain these small 'mistakes'.

For me, I've considered religion to explain these, and I've also considered conspiracy theories such as the simulation theory. The simulation theory and religion share the idea of a greater being - of a creator. Though I haven't had much experience with religion, I can explain the idea of a creator through the simulation theory. In a nutshell, the simulation theory argues that we are in a simulation - the being simulating our world could be in a completely different universe - perhaps different dimensions, different rules of physics, etc. Whatever their world is, it could be something that we can't even fathom - and it could also be a universe that does make perfect sense. Our universe is riddled with mystery and confusion - what if the greater being's world is one that isn't? To think of this, imagine how in a 2D world, the people living in it would never be able to fathom what it's like to live in a 3D world - what we take for granted. In the same way, we may not fathom what it's like to live in an elevated life. If it's likely that we'll ever be able to simulate life, then we ourselves could be living in simulated life (since that technology can exist). This could offer an explanation for our existence, but we would never know. A similar explanation could also be made with religion.

I read an amazing metaphor for believing in a greater being. Imagine when you were first conceived, and living in the belly of your mother for months. At this point (assuming hypothetically that you're conscious), you would have no idea what's to come next. You may believe that birth is death - it's bringing you into something you've never experienced, and you may think this means disappearing. However, you take a leap of faith and you soon find that birth, in fact, leads you to a new chapter of a life. But of course, you would never have known when you were in the womb, where all you knew was what you were experiencing.

It never hurts to have faith. It grounds you and can help you through rough existential crises. Whatever for the reason for our existence, we most likely will never actually find out - possibly in the afterlife, but no one has lived to tell the tale.

Thanks for reading my thoughts, and musing with me during this existential crises.

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