"Laughter and tears are both responses to frustration and exhaustion. I myself prefer to laugh, since there is less cleaning to do afterward." -Kurt Vonnegut
I think at this point we're all aware of President-Elect Trump's less than stellar cabinet picks, so at a time when words fail: queens slay.
Chief of Staff: Reince Priebus
The former RNC Chairman is no stranger to the Trump campaign, standing by quietly as Trump rattled the entire Republican Party by securing the nomination and challenging core party ideas. As for "draining the swamp" the choice of Priebus couldn't have been farther from that idea. Trump just gave the swamp king more power.
Chief White House Strategist: Steve Bannon
What more can I say about him that hasn't already been said. The former Breitbart News executive chair and alt-right cheerleader is without question the most problematic pick for the new administration. I wouldn't even call this draining the swamp, more like unleashing a confused, racist, rhino into the swamp just to see what happens.
Attorney General: Jeff Sessions
The Alabama Senator was an obvious choice for the Trump cabinet as he was one of the earliest Trump supporters in Congress. Also, can we talk about his full name? Jefferson Beauregard Sessions III, I'll just let that sink in.
Housing an Urban Development Secretary: Ben Carson
Ah yes, finally someone to "drain the swamp". A non-politician (yet former Presidential candidate) in Trump's cabinet is just what his grassroots supporters wanted. If anyone in the swamp needs brain surgery we'll know who to call, but as for the rest...
Health and Human Services Secretary: Tom Price
The Georgia Congressman notoriously opposes the Affordable Care Act and plans to significantly reduce Medicare and Medicaid coverage. He's also against a woman's right to choose and has supported legislation to strip Planned Parenthood of federal funding. Still trying to laugh through the pain. Trying really hard here. He introduced legislation in 2015 that aimed to cut benefits and leave millions without healthcare. The bill would no longer require insurers to cover addiction treatment, birth control, maternity care, and prescription drugs just to name a few. Let's hope no one in this swamp has a preexisting medical condition.
Transportation Secretary: Elaine Chao
Chao was formerly the Labor Secretary for George W. Bush and was the first Asian-American woman to serve in a Cabinet position. She also happens to be married to Senate majority leader Mitch McConnell. So about that swamp...
Education Secretary: Betsy DeVos
An Education Secretary who's never attended public school and whose children have never attended public school. Shouldn't that be a basic requirement? The authoritative voice for the public school system won't understand it herself, but then again look at what we just let into the Oval Office.
Treasury Secretary: Steven Mnuchin
He may be an outsider to politics but he's no stranger to Wall Street. The former Goldman-Sachs partner also recently began financing major Hollywood films. I don't think this is what Alexander Hamilton envisioned for the legacy of his position.
Commerce Secretary: Wilbur Ross
At least it wasn't Chris Christie. Ross is a long time donor and associate of Trump's. He even helped bail out one of Trump's bankrupt casinos in the early 90's, so quid pro quo I guess. He also notoriously invested in the coal industry, maybe now he'll turn his attention (and funds) to bringing back Nokia 3310s or putting us back on the Gold Standard.
Still trying to laugh through it all and try not to think about how many of them are billionaires. I need to sashay away from all of this.
