Often times I'm told I don't look like someone who has been affected by sexual violence. That's probably because it doesn't discriminate.

To my mom, I know you'll read this and I want to thank you for being so courageous in my weakest moments. I am strong. We are strong. Because of you, I am able to walk in my truth and be empowered to help others. Not all heroes wear capes, right?

My name is Tate, and I am a survivor of rape.

In my younger years, I became one of many people affected by sexual violence at the hands of a stranger as "one in five women has been the victim of attempted or completed rape in their lifetime". In my recent years, I have been led to use this experience to help others and to grow. I used to hold back and allow this trauma to take control of me. I used to allow this trauma to dictate who I could be. I used to be afraid. I will not be silent, though. I will not be ashamed.

I doubt he will ever see this but I want to take a moment and address the villain from the past: my rapist.

You broke me. You tormented me. You were in my dreams while I was awake. I spent years fixing things I didn't know were broken. I spent hours in therapy, and money on medications. I was a kid and I lost my childhood. I lost piece of mind. I lost my confidence. I lost some friends. I became destructive.

At the same time, I want to thank you. Thank you for allowing me to experience something that grants me insight. Thank you for making me into a better woman through needing to grow up. Thank you for giving me a sphere in which I can help others. Thank you forcing me to cling to my faith. Thank you.

I am grateful for having experienced sexual violence.

Being grateful is a peculiar state of mind, I know. I actually don't know who I would be without this card in my deck. Those who know me well know that I have a blazing passion for feminism, sexuality, and Jesus. My deep rooted zeal for these aspects among others stems from my experience of being blamed for what happened, and feeling ashamed to live my life for so long. I found the silver lining in my pain and capitalized on that. Personally, I would never be able to contribute to conversations about womanhood and victimizing as effectively without having walked in those shoes.

Similarly, like many others who have experienced trauma I clung to God to be pulled out of the torment. Not everyone does, but it worked for me. Like a phoenix I rose from the ashes and found parts of me I did not know. I learned to walk alone for a moment to understand some things. I am still on this walk. Years later and I am reaching deep into the dark and gripping the awful monsters one by one. He gave me the strength to fight through this.

Surviving rape has also allowed me to be a servant to others. Long before I became more vocal about this pain, I realized I had two options: break down or break out. Neither choice is right nor wrong because survivors have every right to cope how we please. I felt as though I experienced this violence for someone else. I experienced this for the woman who is afraid to open up to her partner about her intimacy insecurities. I experienced this for the boy who suppresses his past because he feels that males can't possibly be violated by female offenders. I experienced this for all the survivors who were asked what they wearing instead of what happened. Sometimes there are spheres we are called into in order to be the light. I answered. The anxious, shameful, bitter little girl grew into a compassionate, strong willed, fearless woman with the mission to mend broken hearts like her own. For this growth, I am appreciative.

To my fellow survivors: You can cope whichever way you want. For those who care for the advice, don't let your villain win. Don't be ashamed. You did nothing wrong. If you stand, I will stand with you. If you crumble, I will catch you. Whatever route you choose, you are supported. Feel free to reach out to me, my social media links are below.

To those who are supporting survivors: There is no one way to deal with the aftermath. Remain strong on their behalf and make yourself open. It takes time, honestly.

To all: Thank you for giving me the space to speak on something so dear. I hope I reached someone!

If you or someone you know has experienced sexual violence and you are unsure of the next step, please connect with:

RAINN (Rape, Abuse & Incest National Network)