When has love ever been patient? The idea of love has almost always paralleled the spark of two metals as they begin to weld together. People imagine this initial flash of brilliance, an aweing spectacle of light dancing in the air in a blend of white-hot blue and orange flame. This is love, dazzling abruptness entrenched in enigmatic beauty. The idea has been with us since Shakespeare, “Who ever loved that loved not at first sight?” Humans, romantics, have been conditioned to believe that love grabs you and holds you together, no questions or qualms to deny it. This brought the idea of true passion to fruition and for some time, people galvanized long lasting relationships on the idea that this initiating spark was all that was needed. That’s why today, you hear everyone say, “Relationships nowadays are not what they used to be. People used to be committed.” And there is truth in that, if you choose to ignore patriarchal dominance suppressing women’s inability to escape unhealthy relationships and overbearing religious ideals chaining two people together, forcing them to never honestly examine their happiness. Yet, I must admit, love was noble back then and led to lovers who fought for each other. Love was to be believed in and to be earned. Even when the sparks stopped flashing so perfectly and the two pieces of metal rusted, both partners clung to commitment because love was invaluable and only existed because they were together.

So why is this dedication so scarce today? Everyone still believes in love at first sight. Cue any romance blockbuster and about thirty minutes into the movie there’s that scene. Everyone knows the scene, the world spins a little slower, the guy’s jaw slightly falls and a palpable magnetism is born between a soft sung and deep eye contact. So we still believe in fireworks. It’s just now we believe in them burning out sooner. Today’s society is not to blame though, as Karl Marx claims, “It is not the consciousness of men that determines their being, but, on the contrary, their social being that determines their consciousness.” Over the last hundred years, industrialization and capitalistic ideologies have poisoned the idea of love. With these ideals, people have been taught that every facet of life should be beneficial to social position and economic growth. The clock is forever ticking and each stroke I should be a wrung higher on the public ladder. This industrial foundation has desensitized the identity and put value more in furthered exterior happiness than interior joy. So when the fire burns between the two metals, beginning the fusion of two separate entities, love is seen as an advantageous emotion. Early passions bring us heightened positivity, enriched confidence, and result in the optimal identity. However, when the torch is turned off and the simmer of the molten metals dulls, leaving a single piece, there is nothing to gain. There is a strength of being whole, but that only survives until a few hardships pound their intersection and the value of the relationship is instantly questioned. Today, we cast out our lovers in the idea that they’re holding me back, that if I wasn’t forced to deal with his/her problems I’d be happier. When in fact, we forget that love isn’t always going to be beneficial. As I stated earlier, love is to be believed in and to be earned. You earn love through losing sometimes, through falling down, through being at your weakest. Love won’t survive if the capitalistic mindset of perpetual upward growth is applied, because love is sometimes stationary and even deductive.

To be reduced never sounds like a good thing, to lose that blazing passion never feels great, but to love and be loved is more than that. It transcends failure and redefines loss. True love is to be welded together, to marvel at the sights of its creation, then to appreciate that another life has become you. There will be times when that other life, that other piece of metal, is the only reason that you’re sad, angry, confused, but there will never be a time when that love is not worth being all of those things. Happiness will flow like an endless river, if only you’re willing to lose yourself in the desert sometimes. Excitement will build skyscrapers that can touch the heavens, if only you’re willing to suffer the calluses of swinging the hammer. Confidence will lay the tracks that can lead you to your greatest future, if only you’re willing to wait at the station for a while. Love is not lost in today’s society. It has been mistaken by poetry, misinterpreted by industrialization, and misplaced by our generation, but it is still right here, patiently waiting to forge our hearts together.