Alright ladies, answer me these questions. Are you single? Do you have a crush on someone you know personally? Do you have a crush on someone who you see in person but do not actually know? Do you have a crush (or multiple crushes) on celebrities? Do you have crushes on characters from a movie or TV show? Did you answer yes to all these questions?
If so then you are a serial crusher just like me.
Like me, you find yourself crushing on almost every man you see. A guy walks past you and smiles. New crush. A guy lets you borrow a pencil. Major crush. A guy holds a conversation with you on the bus. You are now basically married to him.
My life for the past 20 years has involved many meticulous lists of all the boys I have ever liked ranging from my middle school crushes that I would still date if I had the opportunity, to the list of celebrities I would go out with if you know, we ever met. My lists have probably been the most organized parts of my life from having them color-coded to writing pros and cons next to each guy’s name to drawing diagrams on how I could date every single one of them and how we would meet, date, and breakup.
And honestly, as fun as it is, it is not healthy. My crushes have become my relationship crutch. Because I am too afraid to be in a relationship, I think fantasizing about them is the better option. And whenever I actually meet a guy, I compare him to my list of crushes and more often then not, they fall short of my fantasy men and I then break it off (usually by just ignoring their texts, mature right?) I use my crushes as an excuse not to be in a real relationship because in a real relationship actual feelings and heartbreak are involved. Real relationships are scary while fantasy relationships with unrealistic expectations are easy. However, that is not how a girl should live her life.
So fellow serial crushers, stop crushing on unrealistic men. Cut up your lists, burn them if you have to, and stop comparing real men, who are actually interested in you, to your fantasy men. The crushes you have are, for the most part, unrealistic and what you would want in a perfect world. And I bet because I do this too, that you probably ignore all of your crush’s faults because you don’t want to admit that they aren’t perfect. However, when it comes to real-life guys, you find every fault that they have and use it as your excuse to break things off with them.
I know it’s scary to start having real feelings for someone and I know the fear of rejection is scary, but you have to push past that. You cannot hold onto your celebrity men forever and you cannot keep crushing on the boy you liked when you were five with the cute dimples. It is time to put the lists away and put yourself out there to finding someone real. As much as serial crushing sounds fun and easy do you really want to be doing it until you are 70, single, and living with over 20 cats, and you hate cats? Yea, me either.
