My parents are empty-nesters. I am the baby of the family, fresh out of my first year at Rice. Even though my sister and I both currently reside in the same city as our parents, we thoroughly enjoy our freedom away from our parental units (maybe sometimes a little too much). Kathryn and I try to have lunch with them on a regular basis while the school year is in full swing, but it can be hard juggling everyone's schedules at once, as any family will tell you.
As a result, I did not realize the extent of my mom's craziness about her FitBit until I moved back home for the summer.
The premise of this fitness bracelet: Walk 10,000 steps a day, eat a little bit better and you'll lose weight. You can track your steps using the FitBit app.
My dad bought this for my mom for Christmas last year; she was always talking about getting back into shape and she thought the FitBit could help. The treadmill in our guest room was gathering dust, so she figured, why not?
The preoccupation started off slowly. From what I saw, it took my mom some time to get accustomed to walking every day while at home. She's a teacher, so she is used to being on her feet, but she was also used to relaxing at home after a long day. But it made her happy to be active again, so we encouraged her.
She then started talking about the specific amount of steps that she had gotten so far that day. "Sarah! I've done only 4000 steps today. I'm gonna be on the treadmill for a long time tonight!"
She recently threw out her back while gardening in our yard, and she couldn't use the FitBit for a whole week because of it. She was confined to her bed during that time, doomed to watch "Pioneer Woman" on the Food Network. The horror! (But she did find new recipes!)
During that period, she frequently brought up the fact that she missed using her FitBit. It was a topic of conversation almost every day in our house: "I wish I could go upstairs and use the treadmill! Get my steps in!"
I can't exactly pinpoint the time period where she started to feel remorseful about not exercising every day. One day, I listened to her talk about not "getting her steps in" because she was simply too tired; she almost sounded apologetic. I said to her, "Mom, you don't need to apologize to me, or anyone else. You're tired, take a nap and exercise tomorrow. The FitBit police won't come knocking down our door, I promise." And then it hit me: I realized that the harmless Christmas present had turned into something else. She had started to talk about herself in what was almost a demeaning manner. "I don't look good! I used to be so skinny! Damn you, menopause!"
My mom knows that she is obsessive about it; my dad tried to get her a FitBit Scale for her birthday this June and she wouldn't accept it. She told him to return it, saying, "Brian, no, I can't have this. I'd be weighing myself five times a day."
It has come to the point where she feels ashamed if she does not get her steps in every day. She sounds self-deprecating, like she blames herself for being human and needing rest sometimes. She stays on her walking schedule strictly; I am now able to look at a clock, and with at least 90 percent accuracy, tell you if she is walking or not.
This is not to say that the FitBit is bad and will make everyone a steps-obsessed maniac. In many ways, the FitBit is a great tool for weight loss. It gives the wearer a set goal to accomplish every day with statistics that they can see with the FitBit app, which does wonders for people who get discouraged if they don't see concrete progress every day. My mom has lost over 30 pounds by sticking to her guns and walking everyday. I am incredibly proud of her; she actually steals my clothes to wear (she looks cute, I'll give her that).
To me, becoming a healthier person means becoming not only physically healthy, but mentally and emotionally healthy as well. One of my favorite slam poems has been in my head ever since I thought to write this article. "Shrinking Women," written and performed by Lily Myers, contains a daughter's point of view on her mother's relationship to food. The ideas she talks about in this poem have stayed with me since I first saw this video.
I think what bothers me about the negative way she talks about herself is this: She has always been my mom. This crazy, wonderful, loving lady has been by my side for my entire life. I've never thought that there was anything wrong with her because I love her so much, and I would find her beautiful no matter what she looked like.
Disclaimer: I am in no way associated with the show True Life on MTV, or any of its affiliates. I am also in no way associated with FitBit or any of its affiliates. Lily Myers wrote and performed her poem "Shrinking Women." I do not own any of these.
