As a writer, I've become all too familiar with the symptoms of writer's block. Like most people, I have periods of time when my mind goes blank and I feel drained of any source of inspiration. Sometimes, there's a clear reason I fall into this slump. Other times, there's no reason at all. It's an obstacle that can strike without warning.
Recently, family matters have been the reason for my mental block. My grandma, who I call 'Meme,' has been battling bladder cancer for over a year now. This summer, being home from college has brought me closer to the pain of losing a close family member. My grandma passed away on Saturday, joining my Grandpa Dick in heaven, after 25 years of missing him.
It's easy to let this loss distract me from my writing and the other things I do. Instead, I've decided to use it to motivate me because I know that would make my grandma smile.
She said she always knew I was going to be a talented writer. From the time I could write, I would pour my ridiculous ideas onto paper, even if I was the only one who understood them. She found so much joy in reading my stories (spelling errors and all) because she saw that it brought me happiness, too. Even in the last month, she asked me how my writing was going each time I visited her in the hospital, with a light in her eyes. She will always be one of my #1 supporters in whatever I choose to pursue.
My grandma helped raise my brother and me until my mom left work when I was in grade school. My family members always joked that she was destined to be a grandma. Everyone agreed that she embodied the model grandmother, so taking care of my brother and me was second nature to her. She showered us with love, attention and treats (more than my parents would've liked) whenever she looked after us.
Among many things, I will always remember her for her one-of-a kind stories. If one thing's for certain, she never ran out of entertaining stories to tell. She also had incredible baking skills. Before she became a grandmother, she ran a cake and candy decorating store for years. So you can bet my birthday cakes were legendary.
When I think of my grandma, I think of Christmas time because I swear that's when she was at her happiest. She loved getting all the kids together to decorate gingerbread houses, which she made from scratch each year. These gingerbread houses weren't even comparable to any store-bought ones. No, they were something out of a Martha Stewart magazine, they were so intricate and professional. She also never forgot to make stockings for everyone. Hell, she made baskets for us in honor of every holiday, not just Christmas. She always knew how to get into the holiday spirit and put a smile on people's faces.
Traveling was another one of her favorite things to do. When I was a freshman in high school, we went on a trip to Europe together for 10 days. She was 84 at the time, and still trucking along. I would like to be able to say the same for myself when I'm that age. By the end of the trip, we had made it through Germany, Austria and France.
I will continue to cherish the subtle reminders of her, like the rare jewelry box she gave me or the missing permanent tooth I inherited from her (my personal favorite). I take comfort in knowing that I will feel her presence with me as I continue to confront life's challenges. To me, that is more valuable than any jewelry box could ever be.
It's easy for all of us to get caught up in the chaos of everyday life, especially in the social media-centric times we live. Moments like these have brought me back to reality and shown me that's not how I want to live my life. Instead, I want to take the time to reflect on my experiences, good or bad, and be appreciative of where I came from. My grandma has reminded me to embrace the memories and people I hold dear and not overvalue the media that surrounds me.
