From the first moment we can walk and talk, we are told to share what we have with others. To “not be selfish,” yet we are also told to dream and to follow those dream no matter what creating this eternal conflict in trying to find a balance between the two. Over the last few weeks, I have found myself giving things up to make others happy. Doing what they want to do, not wanting to start conflict. So much so that I have found myself enjoying life less and less. It has got me thinking, when did putting yourself first sometimes and making yourself happy become an act of selfishness?

We have all heard the famous saying “treat yo’self.” Though used in a joking matter when you are trying to come up with a reason for buying something you know you really don’t need, this saying also has some truth to it. Sure, it does the job when you are just dying for that scoop of ice cream at the end of the day, but it can also relate to how you interact with friends, family, and your loved one. Sometimes I find myself worrying so much about other people’s opinions and feelings that I cannot decide what is truly right for me. For the first time in a long time, someone told me that it’s ok to be selfish every once in a while because you are the one living your life, so you might as well be happy with it. Why has this idea, in a society that claims it is full of self-absorbed millennials, become so lost on us?

As a girl who has found herself at odds with this form of society-shaming, I think it is time we really treat ourselves. Follow your dreams regardless of the stigma that surrounds them. Do what makes you happy, rather than what makes others happy. Don’t miss the chance to do what you want because you will “have time later.” Life is short and before you know it those days you thought you had will pass you by. Skip the self-shaming and buy the airplane ticket, the ice cream cone, or the expensive shoes you have been eyeing. Life may be a balancing act of sharing and self-love, but it is also short and meant to be sweet.