21 years old, I knew who I was. I had already been through the identity crisis phase and came out stronger. If someone asked who I was, surely I'd be able to answer. I thought: How much could I change?
A few days prior (and a few breakdowns later) to my journey going abroad I didn't expect much to change. I thought abroad would deepen my experiences; This was possibly a naive thought.
Because abroad has changed me. A little over a month in, I saw that answer to 'who I was' pass by my hazel eyes. It feels cliche but, in a moment, I saw a horoscope of myself, of how I've changed.
This moment, I remember, sitting on a plane on the runway to leave Madrid, I had seen how Spain changed me - a horoscope of experiences seen through a different person. Because who I was prior became someone I couldn't remember. Because it felt like a rush. That I was leaving Madrid to enter Portugal a completely different person than when I left the U.S. for Spain. And that I'd leave Madrid for another country a completely new person than from who I am in this moment, writing this article.
In traveling, it was seeing the world from the highest of views to the littlest of moments and encounters. And the nights. Those you remember a day or a month later but still feels just as vivid.
Torre de Belém in Portugal. Having an opportunity to see the world through the lens of seeing an entire country from what felt like you were standing as high as the clouds. It becomes an out of body experience, one shaken with awe as you're perspective on who you are, your purpose, and your place in this world is changed, but in a good way. Needless to say, it is a genuinely humbling experience.
Castelo de São Jorge in Portugal. Magical. The kind of place to put yourself in perspective of your size to the world. And the very spot that lets you know, that to someone, a special someone, you are as grand as that 360 view on top the castle.
Timeout Food Market in Portugal. Between different native tongues, the little encounters with others stay with you. Experienced the pizza vendor first and soon fell in love. And on the way back for more, the woman simply knew. Knew that I couldn't get enough, that I needed more. It was that mutual understanding, where not speaking Portuguese mattered very little. Because the love of food and culture was something beyond words.
And in those moments where you meet someone, where you leave for home realizing the whole night you only spoke to that person - it's the magic of waking up the next morning happy because even though you're not quite sure of everything that person said the night [or early morning] before, you're sure of one thing. You are still smiling.
Those are the little moments that stay with you.
In each moment, whether in sight of the world or of another person, you are creating yourself. Endlessly. And you may not know it at the time. But when you see the difference, it'll feel like a rush.
Pinky Promise.
