Being In A Toxic Relationship Has Impacted Any Type Of Relationship I Now Have

Being In A Toxic Relationship Has Impacted Any Type Of Relationship I Now Have

Trust me, I'm working hard on it.

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Let me just start this off by saying that, I'm keeping this short and to the point. Also that, it's not that I'm not over it but it's something that will haunt me. With that being said, I was in the worst relationship for like a year and half and while we broke up almost three years ago, the negative thoughts still haunt me every now again.

So three years later seems like a long time to forget everything and move on, but the truth is while you do move on, you don't forget. You don't forget how they made you feel and how they made you look at the world. So naturally once the smallest, silliest thing happens with anybody I have any type of relationship with platonic or romantic, BOOM, you start to assume the worst and eventually ruin connections to people.

Like for instance, my ex used to just ignore me because he knew that it bothered me and got to me. Now, after that relationship, whether it's a friend or classmate or whomever, I automatically assume that because it's been a little while since I've heard from them, that means that they're ignoring me. Even though, I know that they're probably just busy with work or school or whatever it may be. I mean, we're all adults, we have responsibilities. My mind shouldn't go to, they're ignoring me.

I was blamed for every single "bad" thing that happened, there were no if, and or buts about it. Now, whenever something happens even if I know there's to way that it could be my fault, my mind automatically goes to what did I do? Like if my ex was having a bad day, it was my fault, even if I hadn't seen him all day... It actually takes me a minute to calm down and tell myself that I didn't do anything before I'm back to myself.

I don't open up to my friends and family like I used to, because the second I opened up to my ex, he used every thing I said to throw in my face.

So now whenever I''m talking to somebody I'm super quiet all the time and no one really knows anything about me and it keeps me pretty distant from every one in my life.

Staying quiet also means no communication, and that's a major part of any type of relationship. I stay quiet because I'm not really sure if I can fully trust the other person, even if they have given me absolutely no reason for me not to trust them.

I don't trust people for multiple reasons but a major one is because I'm afraid of being used again. I was used for way more things than I would like to admit and I ended up looking dumber than Karen Smith from Mean Girls.

On top of all of that, I feel like I'm always apologizing for things that don't need an apology. I guess I'm so used to automatically saying it that I don't even realize the word slips out of my mouth until after I say it or until I get asked why I'm sorry.

The word sorry shouldn't be a reflex.

But trust me, I'm working on it. I'm working on not assuming the worst when the smallest thing happens. I working on trusting the other person in any type of situation. I working on my communication. It's not all day, everyday that I think or act like that but it happens more often than I would like, which is crazy.

And I know I'm not the only one who acts like this and trust me, we're all trying our hardest.

Just a small piece of advice, you never know what people have been through, even if they talk a little about it, you'll never know completely what they've heard or seen. So please just be patient and understanding and give them some time. It doesn't hurt to ask how they're feeling, what's on their mind or what you can do for them, when you know that they aren't acting like themselves.

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14 Fraternity Guy Gifts Ideas, Since He Already Has Enough Beer

Frat boys are a species of their own and here are some exciting gifts they will be ecstatic to receive!

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What more do frat boys love than alcohol, partying, and just acting stupid? Here are some gifts that help fulfill all of those needs for the frat boy in your life!

1. Beer holster belt

Whats better than one beer? Six beers! This fashionable camouflage accessory can be used for tailgates, beach days, formals and everything in between.

Price: $8.49

2. Phone juul holder 

You know those cardholders everyone sticks on the back of their phones? Well, now a Juul holder for your phone is on the market! This will save your favorite frat boy from ever again losing his Juul!

Price: $10.98

3. Animal house poster 

This Animal House poster is a classic staple for any frat boy. This poster will compliment any frat house decor or lack thereof.

Price: $1.95

4. The American Fraternity book

Does the frat boy in your life need a good read for Thanksgiving or winter break? Look no farther, this will certainly keep his attention and give him a history lesson on American fraternity heritage and tradition.

Price: $28.46

5. Beer pong socks 

These snazzy socks featuring beer pong will be loved by any frat boy. As for the way to any frat boy's heart may, in fact, be beer pong.

Price: $12.00

6. Condom case

This condom carrying case will not only protect condoms from damage but also make frat boys more inclined to practice safe sex, which is a win-win situation!

Price: $9.99

7. Frat house candle

Ahhh yes, who does not like the smell of stale beer in a dark, musty frat house basement? Frat boys can make their apartment or bedroom back home smell like their favorite place with the help of this candle.

Price: $16.99

8. "Frat" sticker

Frat boys always need to make sure everyone around them knows just how "fratty" they are. This versatile stick can go on a laptop, car, water bottle, or practically anywhere their little hearts desire.

Price: $6.50

9. Natty Light t-shirt 

Even I will admit that this shirt is pretty cool. The frat boy in your life will wear this shirt at every possible moment, it is just that cool!

Price: $38.76-$41.11

10. Natty light fanny pack 

This fanny pack can absolutely be rocked by any frat boy. The built-in koozie adds a nice touch.

Price: $21.85

11. Bud Light Neon Beer Sign 

A neon beer sign will be the perfect addition to any frat boys bedroom.

Price: $79.99

12. Beer Opener

Although most frat boys' go to beers come in cans, this bottle opener will be useful for those special occasions when they buy nicer bottled beers.

Price: $7.99

13. Frat House Dr. Sign

Price: $13.99

Forget stealing random street signs, with this gift frat boys no longer have to do so.

14. Beer Lights 

Lights are an essential for any party and these will surely light up even the lamest parties.

Price: $17.19

Please note that prices are accurate and items in stock as of the time of publication. As an Amazon Associate, Odyssey may earn a portion of qualifying sales.

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An Open Letter To The One My Brother Loves

I love you more than he does, but don't tell him!

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I have known you for about three years now, as you are one of my cheerleaders! During these three years we have grown closer and closer together. You and my brother just recently started dating eight months ago, and I was so excited about it!

Since you and my brother started dating I have seen him change into a completely different person.He is much happier and is more involved in things now. Since you guys have been together I am glad to have you apart of the family, since you have been apart of the family, we have brought you on vacation with us and I have to say that was a blast, we made a lot of memories that weekend.

Whenever you come over I don't really think of you as just my brothers girlfriend, from the start I've seen you become more and more of like a little sister to me! You are a very smart and outgoing girl and that is just one of the many thing i love about you!

You truly make my brother happy and that makes me happy! I have never seen my brother so happy EVER! So whatever it is you are doing...keep it up!

I just want you to know, you can talk to me about anything, i am always here to listen! No matter what the situation might be, i am always right here if you need me.

You are different from his past girlfriends, you actually treat him right and aren't afraid to sit down with us and have meals and actually do stuff with us! You are a different kind of girl, you aren't scared to tell him when he's being a jerk and tell him to get it together! That's something none of his past girlfriends would ever do, and i think that's why we like you so much!

Just know i love you...but if you hurt my brother at all, i will not be happy! Him and i might not always get along, but if he gets hurt i will be right there to protect him, and he would do the same for me! So with that being said DON'T hurt him, because you are a sweet girl and i would hate to have to get mad at you!

8 months ago, i wasn't sure how this was going to go, but here we are 8 months later, and you guys are going stronger than ever! I am always here if you guys ever need help getting through anything! I love you!

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