Nothing is worse than being your own harshest critic:

"I'm not pretty enough."

"I'm not skinny enough."

"I'm not tall enough."

"I'm not short enough."

"I'm not curvy enough."

But let's think about what that little biting voice in your head is saying you're not enough for? For yourself? For a guy? For society?

These thoughts seem to become exasperated when we lose a friend, a boy or don't end up getting a call back for that job we were really excited about. But why? What does the size of our waist have to do with any of these? Why do we put our value and worth in how pleasing our outer appearance is? Why is our response to this kind of loss, "Oh that makes sense. I wasn't good-looking enough to make the cut."

Once these thoughts begin, they are incredibly hard to shake off. Even the smallest amount of self-hate can spiral into a toxic self-loathing rampage.

"Evan was justified in leaving me for her, she's two cup sizes bigger."

"Of course Becky doesn't want to be my friend anymore, she can't be seen with ugly friends."

"Ugh! The interviewer obviously picked the other girl. Her eyes crinkle when she smiles and those dimples!"

Undoubtedly, the reason for these kind of events in our lives are never caused by these silly reasons that enter our minds. But still, they enter and they don't exit anytime soon after. (And if under some strange circumstance they are the cause, then why would you want validation from such shallow individuals?)

Maybe you don't have this problem? Maybe you judge your worth on what's beneath the surface or you are actually comfortable in your own skin. Even so, thoughts like, "I'm not funny enough, intelligent enough, witty enough, confident enough or chill enough," seem to spur in our minds.

"Evan was justified in leaving me for her, she's so much cooler than me! She's been to every Chella and OSL since she was 14."

"Of course Becky doesn't want to be my friend anymore, I am just not funny enough to keep up with her. Who would want to be friends with me? My personality is so dry."

"Ugh! The interviewer obviously picked the other girl. She was so comfortable and completely emanated confidence."

This inner critic is even harder to hush because to some extent, it has some truth to its wickedly harsh words. Personality often has a considerably greater influence on our interpersonal relationships than externalities. The initial hook or interest-grabber might be your outer appearance, but the deciding factor on whether you stay in someone's life long term is always your inner self. (Unfortunately, you can't keep someone entertained for long with just a nice set of eyelashes or a perfectly highlighted cheekbone.)

Just because it might have a hint of truth should we let it beat us down? Should we buy some round glasses and get more music that Evan's new girl would listen to? Or get a bombshell bra? Should we try to adjust our humor to Becky's? Or invest in more makeup? Should we try to be someone we're not in an interview? Or try to induce a fake crinkled-smile?

I mean, we could potentially do all those things. We could change, evolve and adapt every time someone comes around and makes us feel like we are not good enough. We can be Indie for Evan, Punk Rock for Patrick and then strictly Rap cultured for Jerome. We can be witty and sassy for Becky, and then mainly dry humored for Mary.

Or we can realize that comparison does us zero good and only an abundance of harm.

Other people will always be better than you in some aspects, but you will also be better than them in others. No one person is perfect. Our good qualities and our flaws mix together to make us who we are. They give us our individuality. Instead of trying to change ourselves to fit a certain mold, we need to embrace ourselves and realize that someone out there (whether it be a boy, girl friends or interviewers) will love our type of imperfect.