To whom it may concern:
There are lots of things that contribute to a person over the years, whether it's situations, trauma, or just a person saying a kind word one day. There are dark days in every person's life, some hide them better than others. This letter is to every person who has ever hurt me, it's to thank them for making me into the woman I am now. You may have hurt me, helped me, loved me, left me, anything. But each and every one of you molded me into the crazy, beautiful mess I am now.
To the men who loved me--thank you for the brief "love" you showed me. Thanks for taking me out and being wonderful and treating me like a princess. It didn't last and I don't hate any of you for it. It wasn't meant to be, clearly, but the brief time we had together was lovely. You showed me all guys aren't the same--at first. Some of you cheated, some of you left me because I wasn't good enough. Each heartbreak made me cold, slowly chipping away at my heart, leaving me with a stone, cold rock in the place of my heart. You tore my self-esteem down to nothing. But I grew from it so thank you.
To the girls I used to call best friends--thanks for the laughs, the midnight trips to Taco Bell, being my "ride or die" until I ran out of gas/money/jokes or until you grew tired of me. Thanks for letting me call you sister for a short period of time. Thanks for proving my mom right about you before you walked out of my life. I confided in each of you and you walked away with some of my deepest darkest secrets. But you showed me I can't trust everyone who smiles at me and tells me I'm pretty.
To the men who raped me--thank you for hurting me and tearing me down completely at such a young age. Thank you for making me feel like it was my fault when it wasn't. Thanks for ruining my self-esteem before I even had it established. Thank you for making me scared of men, including my own father and grandfathers. Thank you for making me learn how to hate. Thank you for ruining my life forever. I forgive you but I'll never forget the hell you put me through.
To the ex-boyfriend who broke my heart--thank you for showing me how stupid I was and how pathetic you truly are. Thanks for lying to me all those times and cheating on me, thanks for making me look stupid for staying. Thank you for leaving me for a girl who looks like a man. Thanks for leaving all your crap at my house, I needed some fire starter anyway. Thanks for hiding me for a year from everyone back home, thanks for getting drunk and mad and almost hitting me all those times after a guy spoke to me at the bar. Thank you for showing me how immature you truly are. Thank you for making me a crazy bitch.
To the short flings I had in college, both friendship and hookups--you guys were great for the couple weeks I was wrapped up with you. You let me get loose and live life a little. Thank you for introducing me to myself while I was drunk. Thanks for the late nights, the ones I can remember and the ones I can't.
To the friends who stayed--thank you for staying with me through hell and back. Thank you for always being there for me to cry on when I needed you, thank you for the late night drives to get my mind off things. Thank you for the movie marathons and the junk food. Thank you for caring enough to deal with me all these years, whether we still talk regularly or not.
To the new friends I've made--thank you for falling into my life. Thank you for the memories we've made and the memories we will make. Thanks for what you've helped with so far, and for what you'll help me through in the future.
To the man I'm falling for--thank you for caring. I know this is nowhere near what we originally planned this to turn into, but I wouldn't change any minute with you for anything else. Thank you for holding me late at night when my migraines are too much for me to deal with. Thank you for kissing my forehead, my nose, cheeks, hands, fingers and giving me butterflies every time. Thank you for spoiling me. Thank you for showing me off. Thank you for the random butt slaps and grabs when I walk by. Thank you for showing me that not all men are the same, for allowing me to meet some pretty great people who will have our back. Thank you for allowing me to meet your parents and begin to love them. Thank you for listening to me talk about the hell I've been through and holding me when I'm about to cry. Thank you for making me fall.
To the person reading this--thank the people in your life. Even if they've hurt you, thank them. You can go through hell and it will make you a better person.
