Uh oh. It’s that season again. Large packs of people wearing brightly colored shirts advertising your city’s name. Their arms, full of bags, those bags full of more brightly colored shirts and other little souvenirs. It’s tourist season. Your town is flooded with unfamiliar faces, awkward family photos, and confusion. Here are eight issues every tourist town faces during tourist season.
1. Tourists cannot drive.
Probably the most frustrating part of tourist season. You often find yourself stuck behind slow drivers who turn from the wrong lane or go the opposite way down a one-way street.
2. Locals crowd all the “local” places.
Trying to escape from the classic tourist spots, every local will head to the secret places that only locals know about. Too bad these places become just as crowded as the tourist spots.
3. But really, no place is safe.
There are tourists invading everywhere.
4. Everyone you talk to will be complaining about tourists
“Hey, how’s your day?"
“Not too bad, it’s just so crowded everywhere!”
“I know; I can’t wait for all of these tourists to leave!”
5. Grocery stores are war zones.
Grab the food, take no prisoners, pay, and get out as fast as possible.
6. You will mutter the tourists’ nickname under your breath constantly.
“Stupid fudgies.”
“Why do the fudgies do that?”
“Stop, fudgies. Just stop.”
7. Random people will ask you for directions.
But you’ll suddenly forget road names, landmarks, and basically any information that might be slightly helpful to the desperate tourists.
8. When tourist season is over, you feel a strange sadness.
It seems like your town isn’t important, anymore.
