Since my freshmen year at Virginia Wesleyan College, I had leadership roles in many clubs, organizations, and I've been asked to represent the college in numerous ways.
These leadership roles have contributed positively towards my work ethic, communication skills, organizational planning, self confidence, public speaking fluency, and overall personality. What is
been great about all of my experiences is that I have been able to be successful
in all of them -- not all on my own, of course.
Being viewed as a leader has granted me an abundance of privileges and perks. The ones that I am most grateful for are being in positions of influence and power, which I have been able to use to make changes at my school and the surrounding community for the better.
One of the things that I am most
humbled by is that both young men and women look to me for advice, guidance,
and as a safe place to be honest and themselves.
I have had people tell me I make what I do look easy. I must admit that what I do and have been able to do is far from easy.
I think people assume that leadership is effortless as if leadership is always fun or seamless. Nobody sees the sleepless nights, the sacrifices you make, the hard decisions you make, and most of all, the criticism you face constantly.
These moments are the inspiration for this article. These moments
have shaped my character, drive, and self-confidence in ways no others have.
7 tough leadership lessons follow:
“Everybody Wants to Critique the Leader but No One Wants to Lead” – Jasmine Burrell
1. It can and will get lonely
What I have found is that leadership and loneliness tend to go together. I think this feeling of loneliness can come from not feeling understood in addition to the pressure, especially if your in any position with power or recognition.
Last school year, I remember this feeling was a constant for when I acted as President for Phenomenal Woman. I did not have a vice president or treasurer. I remember many times not feeling supported or understood. Unlike my predecessor, I did not have a vice-president to vent my fears, frustrations, or anger to.
Naturally, feelings of loneliness can still be present in leaders who have full executive teams on board, but it's definitely harder without one. A lot of the time, it can come from internal issues such as insecurity or external issues such not have support.
In moments such as these you have to look within yourself understand leadership is not easy but your not the first to lead. Connecting with other leaders was the best thing for me. Finally talking with someone who gets it provided me with a safe space to talk about a variety of situations.
2. Trust your instincts
This is a lesson that has definitely been reinforced within the last year. As a leader, so many people will attempt to pull you in many directions. Some have their own interests in mind, others have yours in mind.
In these situations or any instance where you have to make a decision, you must trust your instinct. I truly believe that our instincts are God-given and guide us in following or finding our purpose in life.
I am not saying seeking counsel or advice does not have its place in leadership, but times I have not trusted my instinct I have always regretted it.
3. Always delegate
One thing I find that most leaders have to grow out of is taking on everything themselves. I used to think that something would not get done (or not get done well) if I did not do it myself.
This thinking is unfair to both you and your and team. It does not make the team feel like you trust them when you do not allow them to help. It also does not allow your team to grow in leadership skills if you do not give them the opportunity.
Taking on so much as a leader only makes your experience more stressful. Learning this skill was something I learned early on in college when I was the director of Neighborhood tutoring. Delegating allows a leader to be the most efficient at his or her job.
4. Get comfortable with being critiqued constructively and harshly
As a leader, the toughest thing for me, in the beginning, was taking criticism. I would not lash out, but I would take it extremely personally.
As a senior, I know now that it is for your benefit. Now I like it because I am always looking to become better, develop new skills, or brush up on skills I already have. Constructive criticism can be a game changer in the development of your leadership skills and overall character.
Also, you should never just surround yourself with people who are "yes men" that never tell when you mess up or are wrong. The most important thing I had to learn is to decipher when criticism is not constructive.
I am constantly baffled when people will critique leaders but not lead. Understanding when things are said out of jealousy, anger, ignorance, or spite has helped me to not be as hard on myself and to stay focused in a positive direction. Criticism, constructive or not, comes with the territory.
5. Get comfortable with being uncomfortable
One of the toughest lessons I had to learn as a leader is that you will always be put in situations where you don't feel comfortable. What makes someone uncomfortable varies person to person.
For me, it was speaking in front of people. Many people do not know this because of how well I do it now. The reason why I am more comfortable speaking in front of people is because I pushed past my comfort zone.
This has become a bigger life lesson for me. I know now when I am faced with things that make me uncomfortable I need to do it, especially when this comes from fear and self-doubt. I have learned to trust myself.
6. Attitude is everything
The most valuable thing I learned from leadership is that attitude is everything. This is yet another life lesson. If the leader is a tyrant, angry, or anxious the team and organization as a whole will absorb that stigma.
The whole well-being of the members, executive team, and organization is dependent on the attitude of the leader. If you care, work hard, aspire to excellence, and allow yourself to make mistakes, so will your members.
Attitude is the difference between success and failure. It is what makes members come back and what makes people want to work with you. I have learned to embody exactly what I want any organization I am leading to. Attitude is a game changer.
7. God will keep you close
At my toughest and darkest moments (sounds dramatic, but life can be dark) my faith has been the game changer. It is in my weakest moments when I feel insecure, misunderstood, doubted, unsupported, or taken for granted that my relationship with God has kept me at peace.
The source of all of my success in leadership can be brought back to this relationship. It has been my experience that God will remain by my side at every moment no matter how tough the lesson.
