I’m not going to start off this letter with the cliche “dear ___.” All I’m going to give is a simple and uncomfortable “Hello.”

I’m sure you are confused as to why you are reading this, because you never would understand what you have put me through in our relationship, so let me elaborate through the length of this letter.

I was your victim of your malicious ways of words and actions that have manipulated me into doing certain things or feeling different emotions. I was angry at you. I was angry at myself. But now, I want to say thank you.

Unexpected, right? Well let me tell you why.

I want to thank you for putting me through all of the hell you put me through. You would use your clever brain and manipulate my emotions to whatever you wanted me to feel towards you. At this point, I was oblivious to what was going on and thought it was normal for relationships to be this way. I was young, and you took advantage of that. Although you may believe you did nothing wrong, I will gladly beg to differ.

For example, you would not allow me to dress up or make myself look nice, because who was I trying to impress besides you? Did you ever think to yourself, maybe I just liked to wear makeup and dresses just because it made me feel better about myself? No. You only thought of yourself. You lacked trust in me, although you had no reason not to, and this caused you to be afraid of me to look nice because it would be the end of the world if someone else found me attractive. You would subtly call me a slut because I had friends that were boys, and your insecurities would make you believe that I was having sex with each and every one of them.

All in all, my life was completely in control by you. You told me what I could and couldn’t do. I allowed you too, so this is partially my fault.

I felt guilty all the time. I was deeper in my depression than I already was. I was always on edge and worried about every move I would take or word I would say, just in case it would come off wrong, and then you would fight with me… again. I thought that we we’re on top of the world. I thought that we were perfect for the longest time. By the end of our relationship, I finally realized what was actually going on.

Relationships are supposed to be built on trust. You had none for me. Relationships are also supposed to be based on communication. The only communication we had was when we were screaming at each other because I texted my best friend who happened to be a guy. Relationships are supposed to be based on supporting each other and making each other happy. You made me sad, but fuck was I addicted to the rush you put me through. That was what makes this part of my fault. I allowed you to do this to me because I was afraid of losing you and what we had, but it was actually one of the best decisions of my life to let you go and never look back.

But I want to thank you. Thank you so much for putting me through all the Hell you put me through.

I have become stronger than I have ever been because of you. I have higher expectations for new relationships. I never will ever let someone treat me like that again and would never wish it upon my worst enemy. I am a whole new person. I have learned to love myself again after I left you, and I now know what abusive relationships look like, and can help a friend who is dealing with it now.

So thank you, but Lord help the next girl, because you never understood what you were doing wrong, and thought that it was healthy to destroy me in such a way.

-The One You Made Stronger