As I sit here stuffed full from my brownie I just ate, I realized I am one girl who is hard to love. So I thought I would congratulate the boy who loves my awkward self next, but also I thought I would go ahead and apologize.
1. I’m sorry for always being messy.
I mean this in every sense. One being in the way I never have my life together and the other being in the way that my room or my car is ALWAYS messy. (I am working on it, I promise.) My mind is everywhere, nothing new, it does not mean I am not paying attention to you it just means that I am listening even though I start talking about something else right after. I also promise that that pile of clothes in the chair are clean whether they are in wads or not.
2. I’m sorry for always being late.
Yes, I am known for being late, the worst part is I always exaggerate that I am closer than I actually am. Yes, that cup of coffee is worth seeing you roll your eyes. Yes, I know I said 12:30 and I said lets meet at 12, but I have always lived by the quote from a well known movie, “A queen is never late, everyone else is simply early.” I am sorry though, I know it is aggravating and I know its even more aggravating when I get mad at YOU for being late.
3. I’m sorry for being so high maintenance.
I know its lame of me to complain about something not being perfect or when I start to complain about my siblings doing something aggravating. I know its so weird that I spend so much time getting ready rather than doing something useful like recycling. I know its so annoying to hear me complain about restaurants not understanding what gluten-free means.
4. I’m sorry for being clingy.
Its not that I truly am clingy, I don't care if you're with other girls or I could careless if I don't know where you are. I am extremely trusting and I know I will trust you. I am clingy in the way I need to know you care, a nice text or gesture every now and then goes a long way with me. It isn't that I want to be this way, its because I am so worried I will lose you that I am this way.
5. I’m sorry I am so insecure.
I am not just apologizing to you for this its a little bit to me as well. I wish I wasn't and I wish you weren't either, because chances are that you are. Thats the point of a relationship is loving someone through their insecurities, that is the pure beauty of it. I promise I am not holding you to a certain standard its just me holding myself to one. I am sorry for me always questioning things you say because I don't know how to take them. In my mind you say something and I get offended because I am worried you might see my flaws.
6. Congratulations.
At the end of the day its not my flaws I want to apologize for I want to promise you something. By winning this girl, you win someone who will never give up on you, who will love you no matter what, who would do anything for you, someone who prays for you, and finally you win someone who will accept you for your flaws. The most beautiful thing in the world to me is seeing someone love and put themselves on the line for the one person who loves them the same. I promise to love you for you, despite your possible dysfunctional family, despite your weird quirks, despite your past, I will love you for you.
Sincerely,
The girl who will love you next.
P.S. You’ll just have to accept that I am an awkward, weird mess of a girl.
