Taylor Swift may know places, but The Odyssey knows where people get some. We led a very scientific survey asking the student body the hard-hitting questions: Where is the weirdest place you’ve had sex on campus? Where is the weirdest place you’ve shacked on campus?

And oh, we got some weird ones.

This can serve as a bucket list or whatever else you want. Maybe you can look at it and figure out who submitted what. With that being said, if you can figure out which submission is mine, I’ll pay your cover somewhere as a prize.

Without further adieu, we present, the master list.

Weirdest Place You’ve Ever Had Sex:

1. My roommate’s desk. You must have really hated your roommate.

2. In the middle of the quad. Hopefully you didn’t do that in this weather.

3. The roof of Cly’s. Was it wine night? It was probably wine night.

4. A party tent set up outside of Memorial Stadium. That's one way to tailgate. 

5. A stairwell at Johnstown. Overlooking White Ho or Joe’s?

6. Illini Grove. People go there?

7. Chopstix. Slow clap to you, anonymous person, from everyone on campus.

8. The roof of Krannert. How did you get up there? Please tell us.

9. The emergency exit stairs of Brother’s. Classy.

10. ISR basement bathroom. You do you.

11. Weston Hall basement bathroom. As a former Weston resident, I’m proud.

12. Bromley meeting room. Like the ones with the windows? Please say yes.

13. Dorm shower. This was submitted several times.

14. Frat house basement with the boyfriend during their I-week when all the pledges were asleep. You could have stopped at frat house basement and I probably would have been impressed.

15. Steam tunnels under the quad. How did you get there? Please email me for a follow-up.

16. Frat house lounge. I bet that was romantic.

17. LAR study room. Great use of your study breaks.

18. UGL women’s bathroom. Hopefully you wrote something on the inside of the stall about it.

19. Laundry room of a fraternity house. They do laundry?

20. Foellinger Auditorium bathroom, 2nd floor. I like that you distinguish which floor. Thank

you.

21. Attic of the Phi Delt's house. Sounds spooky.

22. Under the trees next to the pond that is next to Allen Hall. So romantic. 

23. In the gym of 309 on one of the weightlifting machines… yikes. We can only assume it was really sweaty.

24. Engineering Quad. And then in the Engineering Hall. Nerds in love.

25. I got a blow job in an empty office in Davenport Hall. This was about full on sex, dude. Not lesser kind of sex.

26. The (disgusting) Sammy's closet. I’m so sorry.

27. Study room at my sorority house. Really keeping that house GPA up, aren’t you?

28. The cafeteria. Which one?

29. I had sex in the field of Memorial Stadium. We snuck in late one night and went for it. This is the only time an Illini has scored there in a long time.

30. In my ex boyfriend's bed... with someone that wasn't my ex boyfriend. Proud of you.

31. The Psi U showers. Are they like prison showers? Were there other people in there? We have questions.

32. AEPhi chapter room. No boys are allowed in the basement, shame on you. That is so not LML of you. 

33. Behind/underneath a bar. I can only assume you had drank everything on the bar beforehand.

Weirdest place you’ve ever shacked:

1. A sorority house. Which one? Report back.

2. Bromley, in my old RA’s room. I’m assuming it wasn’t with your RA?

3. On a frat’s exec room table. That sounds uncomfortable.

4. My ex-boyfriend’s ex-girlfriend’s apartment. Complicated, but impressive.

5. In the same frat bedroom as my roommate. Both of us had a different guy, and one of the guys wasn't in the frat at all. That is real friendship.

6. Public residence hall. Most of them are public. Be descriptive.

7. My brother's apartment (not with my brother). Thank you for making that distinction.

8. Slept on a frat house roof under the stars with my boyfriend. Awwww. Not real shacking, sorry.

9. In the apartment of another Odyssey staff member, but not with that Odyssey staff member. Snaps to you, anonymous staff member.

10. 4H house. Was there any 4Play at 4H? I would like to apologize for that joke.

11. Urbana. I love this response because it assumes the whole of the city of Urbana is a weird place to shack.

12. Phi Delts senior house with my foot in a leftover calzone. I am so sorry.

13. Sammy’s. Let me reiterate, I am so sorry.

14.)An AEPi bathroom. Do I need to say it again?

Honorable mention in the shacking department goes to this very odd, completely unrelated response: 

The year was Nigeria; the scene, 1776. A war had befallen Peru, the likes of which I can hardly describe. The Mexicans had decided to move to Mexico, as they thought the names would make more sense, as a result, they'd kick the Peruvians out of Mexico. It was there in that red mist and blood soaked land that a single, solitary structure stood. It bellowed out columns of smoke and ash and soot and in its wake lied lying liars. That structure stood tall and strongly, its existence was existent. Inside of that shack lay a book of fragmented documentation, scraps of relics from the bygone age and misplaced history otherwise lost to the ages. In said memories lie my own, which I have repressed, but will digress for thee. Milady (the phantom of the dreamscape of femininity) lovecraft crafts her love in the shack I built for our 15 children in the deans parking space.

You keep doing you, Illinois. And other people too, just make good choices.