This is a response of sorts to an article written by my great friend Colleen Durnin, "Pet Peeves of a Grocery Cashier." I thought it was a good idea, and I figured during this holiday season, everyone has experienced at least one of these situations from either side. This article hopefully can help educate readers on proper retail etiquette, give you a laugh or two, or provide you with some relief that you are not a retail worker during this supposedly 'most wonderful time of the year.'
Spoiler alert. It's not.
1. COUPONS
Let me shout it from the rooftops, I HATE COUPONS and I don't care who knows it! I work in a retail store where, in all honesty, the price of the merchandise is on the expensive side. I suppose I should rephrase. I don't hate all coupons. I like a deal as much as the next person. What I don't like are people who manipulate the coupon and sale system, or get mad when they fail to do so. I have no problem with you using your 15% off coupon. I really don't. But if you are angry with me because you can't use your 15% off coupon in addition to the 40% off sale that is already going on PLUS you expired store credit and invalid online code... I have no sympathy.
2. "How much is this?"
... Ma'am, I don't know. Unfortunately I do not have the prices of every item in this store memorized and to be fair... you are currently holding the item in your hand which most likely (ABSOLUTELY) has a tag on it. If you want me to calculate how much the discount is, I will begrudgingly agree. I will have to walk to the back of the store and grab my calculator, but if you are willing to wait that long, great. By all means. But I am not a mathematical genius, and you have your phone (which conveniently has a calculator app) in your hand... so...
3. "Why is this so *expletive*-ing expensive?"
Um... first of all, you, as a customer, willingly walked into this store. If you have ever been here before (which odds are, you have), you are well aware of the prices in this store. Complaining about them will NOT make me give you a discount, nor will it make me uncomfortable enough to apologize profusely so you can feel better about yourself. Trust me, if I could contact the CEO of every company who's products I felt were too expensive and petition to make the prices more reasonable, I would. But funny, I can't, and I don't. I am a part-time retail worker. There is very little I can do to change the price of the merchandise in this store. If you do not like it... look elsewhere. Please.
Also, do you kiss your mother with that mouth?
It's not cute, and it's not intimidating. It's just rude.
4. Complaining about one worker to another
Not cool.
Seriously. Odds are, the reason you are upset with me is because you didn't get your way. I refused your expired coupon or politely explained that your return is past our policy date. All with a smile on my face, no less.
But that doesn't matter. A complaint it a complaint, and my manager will have a very uncomfortable conversation with me because protocol requires her too. To make it less painful for everyone involved... just don't. Unless whoever the worker is was rude to you or did something unacceptable. By all means, complain about that.
5. Credit. Cards.
Oh. My. Actual. Gosh.
Okay. I know you don't want a store credit card. I am aware. I don't want to sell you one either, but guess what? I still have to ask you. Do me a favor and at least listen to my pitch. Maybe it might actually interest or benefit you! One of my absolute least favorite thing is having a customer loudly say "Nope! No! No!" while I'm just doing my job and asking a question.
Politely decline if you're really not interested. AFTER I give my little schpiel. Okay? Thanks.
6. NOT SAYING HELLO
My job is often greeting you at the door and telling you the sales that are going on. I am trying my best to make you feel welcome and comfortable. If you are busy I completely understand but at least say :) hello :) back :) to :) me!
7. Leaving the dressing rooms an absolute mess
We try our best to clean out the dressing rooms and we really have no problem putting things back when you're done trying on clothes. We'd really rather do it than have you attempt it and mess up the store. But there's a different between leaving your clothes for us to put up, and leaving a mountain of crumpled clothing in a pile.
8. Talking on the phone
It's no big deal to talk on the phone while you browse, or if you get an important phone call during an transaction or something - all completely acceptable. But when you come to the back to get checked out, or when you need assistance with something... please give the worker your attention. We are human beings who deserve at least that much respect. You can spare whoever's on the other end of the line a few moments so that I can get your phone number, tell you your total, and give you a receipt.
9. Coming in the store five minutes before closing
This I feel is self explanatory. I want to go HOME. If you're not here for an in and out kind of purchase... please, for the love of all that is holy, just come back tomorrow. It takes workers an extra half hour at least to close up. Every extra minute you stay is agony.
Retail workers want to make shopping as painless as possible! We are working in retail to make your experience as pleasant as possible! We are humans just like you, and we get annoyed by the same things. Keep this in mind on your next trip to the mall, especially during the holidays. Come into the store with an open mind and a good attitude, it will take the pressure off of both of us and make the holidays that much brighter.
