When it comes to Christmas, there are so many different traditions associated with the event. Whether it be within your family or as a general Christmas tradition, it's almost impossible to keep up with them all. So here are the five absolute worst traditions that are a byproduct of this beloved holiday:
1. Milk and Cookies for Santa
Call me crazy, but this is just absolutely awful. First of all, the big man has to drink millions of glasses of the most overrated drink of all time. I don't care what anybody says, milk is nasty, and you can get more calcium form orange juice. Second of all, have you ever tried eating that many cookies? No wonder the guy is so fat. The garden variety chocolate chip cookie is around 75 calories. 75 multiplied by the couple hundred million homes he visits? Definitely not gonna make you winner of "The Biggest Loser" any time soon.
2. Stockings
Once again, another beloved tradition for when you wake up in the morning and open all your presents. But come on, this one is just common sense. "Oh hey, I got you a pack of gum and some candy and trinkets you'll never use in your life. I'm just gonna stuff them in this over-decorated sock above the fireplace for you to stick your hand in." This one is another hard "get rid of it" from me.
3. Egg Nog
Egg Nog. Just say the words a few times over and over. Egg. Nog. Why in the world would anybody want to ingest something that is also referred to as "Egg Milk Punch?" It's also kind of yellowish, which just makes it look like milk that turned into cheese that hasn't quite solidified yet. Any drink you need to spike with copious amounts of alcohol to make taste better also cannot be trusted.
4. Christmas Pickle
This one reminds me of the scene from "Big Daddy" when the delivery guy Adam Sandler is friends with (Rob Schneider) is trying to name things that go together. "Lamb and tuna fish?" You might as well throw Christmas and pickle in that one in terms of being preposterous. Seriously though, what sick person was like, "Go find the pickle in that tree and I'll give you a reward." It's just not right man.
5. Gingerbread Houses
This is one of those things that's better in theory rather than in practice, like going to the gym or communism. I was making one a few days ago, and first of all, they are not easy to make. They never look as good as they do on the box. Everything is falling apart and whatnot. Plus it's not even like you can eat them. They sit on your counter for a few weeks to get all hard and crusty, and it's such a waste of candy. Think about throwing out that much candy in any other situation. It's a travesty.
