Do you sing? Do you act? Do you express yourself in creative ways to form meaningful relationships that are as fake as your personality? If yes...You are a STARVING ARTIST. Congratulations. This always means you have no money. Here is a list of jobs that one can get to not cry or die from being the creative hipster we all want to be....
A temp.
You are basically a personal assistant to anyone and everyone, whenever and wherever. You are the person to get coffee, print articles, or just give moral support to the people who have "real" jobs and have given up on there theatrical dreams.
A nanny.
Channel your inner Mary Poppins and take care of children! Everyone loves children! They are little irrational humans that run around and make you laugh and smile and also give you anxiety and regret like no Lifetime TV movie could. Be the babysitter they need in their lives. Teach them to be awesome humans. Or just keep them alive while their parents are away. It's fast and easy cash. And you get sit at a strangers home all day and do nothing. I should have majored in Babysitting. This job is epic.
A dog walker.
You probably love dogs. Or you at least reblog them on tumblr. So why not walk them around your neighborhood. You can have a reason to walk around and talk to strangers. You can maybe bump into your future soul mate while taking this walk. Dogs attract people cause they are too cute. You will prob burn some calories running around and cleaning up after them as well. So, you literally get the best of both worlds...you get to lose weight, find your soul mate, and spend the day with cute puppies...that sounds like heaven.
A waiter.
Have you ever wanted to get paid to give food to people and then eat the leftovers for yourself? Well be a waiter. You will never need to pay for food again. You will literally get paid to eat food. Sure you might have to be sneaky and its gross eating scraps off of strangers' plates, but hey, you have no money and probably no morals so dig in. Also those college loans are not paying themselves.
Retail.
This is when you have hit rock bottom. No one likes retail. So please be kind to yourself and at least get a job at like Abercrombie or Micheal Kors so you can look at cute clothes and accessories and then get discounts on them. At least you will be able to get some fashion out of this job. And you will feel like a rich king going to work everyday. You can fool all your friends with your Louie V bag that you got for 50 bucks instead $450! They will be giving you praise and props. And it's fun to convince people you're rich, Or at least to brag about getting a real good deal.
Last but not least. Follow your heart, laugh, and be a badass...and the money will come. Trust yourself.
Peace and Love.
-Brian
