Everyone knows that quicksand is the biggest threat to a college student. Every day I worry that I'll fall into a pit of quicksand and get stuck. Fortunately, new safety laws make it so colleges have to place warning signs next to all known quicksand, but sometimes the groundskeepers forget. It's so embarrassing to be stuck in the quicksand, and no one will ever help me get out, so I struggle and just get stuck even further. Here are my 3 least favorite places to get lost in the abyss of the quicksand.
3. On a Dinner Date
How am I supposed to enjoy my fettuccine alfredo when my feet are slowly sinking deeper into a cavern of non-newtonian fluid? Honestly, dating is hard enough as it is, I don't need the added pressure of mud slowly forcing me deeper into the ground. The last time this happened, I got walked out on once when I was neck deep in the quicksand, and it was SO embarrassing! Definitely one of the worst dates I've ever been on. Ugh!
2. At The Bowling Alley
I consider myself a great bowler. One of the best. But I can't show off my sweet follow-through if my legs are in quicksand. This happens every third or fourth time I go bowling, and it really puts a damper on my game. I've never bowled over an 86 in the quicksand, and everyone points and laughs at me everywhere I go.
1. At The Quicksand Store
Honestly, this is the worst. Whenever I'm at the quicksand store and I get stuck, everyone immediately knows that I'm an inexperienced quicksand user, and this makes me the laughing stock of the whole village. I wouldn't wish this embarrassment upon my worst enemy because you can't save your reputation in the quicksand community with a flub like this.











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